PUNISHER: THE NETFLIX SERIES is very "Bourne-ing."

Let me tell you something, folks.  I am a huge fan of the Punisher.  I have the character's first appearance in THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #129.  I have just about every issue of every volume of the Punisher's main run of comics as well as a ton of his appearances in other characters' comics.  I think he is just the tops!  Superheroes are often the outsiders of society.  If that is so then Frank Castle is the outsider of outsiders.  He cannot rely on his superpowers to save the day because he has none!  What a fascinating hero in a world of super powered superheroes. I tell you all of this to assure you that this review is not going to be one of those "It sucks because the show isn't like the comics" kind of reviews.  I promise.  I will say, however, that Netflix's THE PUNISHER is terrible for so many other reasons.  Yea, that's right.  I didn't care too much for this show.  Everyone else seems to love it but I found the show to be a 13 hour endurance test of boring.  It's a thin unimaginative story populated with a bunch of characters that serve as oversize luggage that drag down and get in the way of anything interesting happening.  Oh, and the show is nothing whatsoever like the comics!

The story is another origin story!  Can you believe it?  How ballzy do you have to be to put out another origin story of the same version of the character?  It is like the creators of this show don't know what to do with this guy or are too afraid to write stories that concern what the Punisher actually does.  So in DAREDEVIL season 2 we are introduced to Frank Castle who is hunting down those who murdered his family.  By the end of the show he gets them all.  Now for his new show he discovers that there was one more person left and he spends the entire 13 episodes trying to find out who he is and kill him.  You can rest assure that season 2 of the PUNISHER will feature yet another character tied to the death of Frank's family that he will have to go after for another 13 episodes.

The show starts off with Frank Castle played by Jon Bernthal running around killing the little fish that were tied to the death of his family.  He is wearing the white punishment death skull prominently on his bulletproof vest so I took that as a good sign.  I thought all that stuff with his family was over.  The show can move on into new territory.  But then after he kills them all in the first five minutes of the first episode he burns the vest and retires to hitting concrete walls with a hammer.  What is he going to do for the rest of the season?  Oh, he is going to go around and yet again uncover the conspiracy that got his family made not alive anymore with the help of his new friend and computer whiz, Micro.  Fun?

Jon Bernthal really isn't playing the Punisher.  He is playing a character that should have been called the Revenger.  His motivation is based only on getting revenge on those that wronged him.  The Thomas Jane movie of the same name also made the same mistake.  Once the Punisher has dealt with those who murdered his family what is left for Franky to do?  What would motivate him to go on and wage war on bad guys?  It feels wrong for him to go on killing unless he is unstable mentally which this show insinuates with his apparent PTSD.  If there was any doubt that Frank Castle is not the Punisher the scene where Frank has a gun to the head of Turk, the gun runner who also helped traffic people in the slave trade.  Turk is kind of a running gag always popping up in the previous Netflix Marvel shows like DAREDEVIL and LUKE CAGE.  What was funny about his character is that you knew that he would show up in the PUNISHER show and that he was going to die because Daredevil and Luke Cage don't kill but the Punisher does.  We knew it was too good not to happen but it didn't.  After finding Turk with all his weapons ready to be sold to the city's bad element Netflix's Punisher just knocks him out.  That is when you know that this is not the Punisher.  He is the Revenger.  Turk had nothing to do with the death of his family so Frank had no reason to kill him.

When you see Punisher fan art you usually see Frank Castle armed to the teeth carrying two big guns with two rows of grenades strapped criss-crossed to his vest and ammo magazines protruding from every possible pocket stitched to his clothing with all that weight doing nothing from disrupting his aim as he, with his face frozen in a warriors scream, blasts away at the unseen baddies that most likely lay dead in a hail of gunfire.  This is how we sum up what the Punisher does and how we want to see him do it.  The Netflix seems embarrassed by this character.  Frank doesn't go after drug dealers and rapists.  No, he instead meets and gets involved with Micro's family or dreams of his dead wife over and over again with additional flashback sequences to constantly remind us that he misses his family.  Micro too has his own flashback sequences with his family too.  How many times do we see Micro looking at a computer monitor watching his family on camera?  How many times does Frank dreams or flashbacks to his family?  The show creators can't seem to think of anything interesting to put on the screen.  But they sure do make it a priority to stop any possible momentum the story may have made with these family moments

The name of this show should have been titled THE JASON BOURNE SHOW.  What we have here is an uninspired remake of the Bourne films.  The bad guys are all CIA, FBI or politicians in suits who did bad things during the war.  Now they have to kill the rogue soldier because he knows too much.  Now he has to run from the authorities, beat up two cops then jump down a stairwell and get into unimpressive car chases while killing former military henchmen.  There is nothing in this show that we haven't seen before.  Its a typical American action film in episodic form.

The Netflix original THE PUNISHER simply tells the wrong kind of story.  It should be an action show about a one man war against crime.  This show is more of a family drama wrapped up in a police procedural.  Bernthal could be a good Punisher but his portrayal as a PTSD ridden homeless guy is just sad.  He doesn't emote badassery.  He just cries sometimes or comes across as an upset dock worker.  It should be simple not a bunch of conspiracy nonsense with the usual twists and turns.  The Punisher show should break the formula of telling one long story arch over 13 episodes.  Every episode should be about him tracking down a killer of killers and killing them like a monster of the week kind of thing.  DEXTER did it on occassion. 

So what will happen in season 2?  I predict that he will once again go after another former military bad guy that is revealed to be involved with the death of Frank's family that will also be involved with a bunch of White Supremacists.  Expect more dream sequences and flashbacks of Frank's family too.  I am surprised about how many people who are Punisher fans love this show.  I just don't get it.  I never read or watched a single negative review of it. I'm sure there are some out there but I didn't look very hard.  I figure they are caught up in the Disney/Marvel hype unwilling to accept the fact that the show does not deliver the most basic motivations of the character. The PUNISHER never moves forward always stopping to look at the past developing a character that was already developed in DAREDEVIL season 2.  Just like Frank at the beginning of the first episode hitting walls over and over again with a hammer the show accomplishes nothing and bores the audience with redundancy.  Next time, Netflix let me write the dang show.


Jason

DOCTOR STRANGE is Magically Delicious!

I have to admit that I didn't expect a lot from DOCTOR STRANGE.  ANOTHER ORIGIN STORY?!!!  Is it really necessary to do another story about the beginnings of another super hero?  I know next to nothing about Doctor Strange but I don't feel the need to have my hand held and explained how he came to be even with all the magic mumbo-jumbo.  I have seen enough to know how this whole super hero thing works.  The whole movie looked like it was going to be some kind of INCEPTION knock-off.  Now that I have seen the movie I can say that I was wrong.  Not only is DOCTOR STRANGE good, it's one of Marvel's best!

Dr. Strange is one of the best surgeons in the world.  He is a man of great arrogance fully aware of how much smarter he is than everyone else around him.  Not a bad guy but he has a couple of large character flaws.  After a car wreck of his own doing, Strange finds himself no longer able to be a surgeon due to the crippling of his hands.  Humbled in body but not in mind, Strange's desperation to get his former life back leads him to look into possible magic remedies.  This journey leads him to the discovery that there is real magic in the universe and there are unseen threats that will use magic to bring destruction to our world.

DOCTOR STRANGE opens our minds to the Cosmic side of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  There is not just other countless universes but other dimensions and realms too.  All of it is connected.  Dr. Strange who considered himself the biggest man in the world, is shown that he is just a small part of a much larger reality.  That doesn't make him and his existence meaningless but it does mean that everyone has value.  Everyone is important and worth fighting for.  Overtime Dr. Strange learns to use magic of the universe to help others instead of himself.  He becomes a Master of magic but insists that you still call him Doctor.

The film only gets better and better.  At no point does the story get bogged down with boring exposition or a pointless love story that will not last into the certain sequel.  This is an origin story after all.  We know how origin stories progress.   We know that we will see set ups to future films in the franchise.  We should be bored but we are most definitely not.  Part of that reason is Benedict Cumberbatch is perfect as the title character.  Dr. Strange is rich, smart and arrogant like Tony Stark only not as funny or likable.  There is some deep complexity to his character.  He loves himself more than anyone and this blinds him to why he can't build a strong relationships with others.  He does care for his patients but he likes the glory a bit more.  You can't help but get involved of his story as the prideful doctor the humbled but super powered super hero.

A big positive to this film and all Marvel films is that DOCTOR is part of a much larger story.  While watching DOCTOR STRANGE you have to wonder where this is happening in the MCU.  How are they going to use this character in the Infinite War?  Are any Avengers going to show up?  What is going on in the MCU while this story is going on?  The idea of all these movies sharing the same universe helps boost interest even in the most lackluster Marvel movie.

Magic gives more room for imagination.  The fight scenes are more creative because magic is being used in a creative way.  There isn't just a bunch of shooting and punching.  In fact there is an almost subversive nature with the use of magic in the fights.  At the end the bad guys had pretty much won but thanks to Dr. Strange's willingness to break the rules of magic he is able to rewind time with the Time Stone and save everyone and defeat the bad guys while time reverses all around them.  There is time travel and dimension bending and out of body experiences that are used in the battles between good and evil.  Imagination is used the right way.  In the Marvel Cinematic Universe we haven't seen these things before except for the Quantum Realm in ANT-MAN.  You do see the Quantum Realm briefly in DOCTOR STRANGE.

DOCTOR STRANGE is a fast paced eye opening experience.  It is a welcome addition to the MCU and a course correction from the BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE ripoff CAPTAIN AMERICA; CIVIL WAR which was somewhat of a disappointment.  Hopefully DOCTOR is the last of these origin stories.  The formula needs to be changed to tell a story of a newly introduced character.  PUNISHER: WAR ZONE is the best example of that.  My only real complaint for DOCTOR is that the some of the fight scenes are too heavily edited at times.  Other than that this movie will surpass the most highest expectations.  Go see it and be amazed!

Jason

Thank You, Zack Snyder for BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE!!!

Spoilers Ahead!

I want to use this post to write about my love for BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE and use it as a 'Thank You' to Zack Snyder and everyone involved in making one of the greatest super hero films ever.  The hate this movie has received is unwarranted and quite perplexing.  I thought the theatrical cut was great but the restored true version was perfect and I mean that in all sincerity.  The movie delivers a serious story that treats the audience with respect.   It doesn't dumb down the plot by adding action beats every ten minutes or comedy at inappropriate times just to appeal to mainstream audiences who view the super hero genre as nothing more than "leave your brain at the door popcorn fare".  Thank you, Zack Snyder for this film.  Like Superman doing great deeds and still being greeted with fear and hate, you too have given us a great film that has received the same.  Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I find it so strange that this film and MAN OF STEEL have been held under a higher magnifying glass while other films with more problems are given a pass.  See the CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR for example.  CIVIL WAR is pretty much the same freaking movie yet receives high positive ratings!  Don't get me wrong.  I loved CIVIL WAR too but I think BVS was way better.  By the way the Ultimate Edition of BVS is what I will be writing about.  That is the true intended version of the film.  As far as I am concerned the theatrical cut no longer exists.

Essentially BVS is a Man vs. God story.  Because of the abuse he had to endure as a child by his father, Lex Luthor (Jessie Eisenberg) has grown into a man who believes that there no such thing as a god who is good.  To him people only pretend to be good but deep down inside they are selfish frightened creatures.   Superman's existence contradicts Luthor's religion undermining his whole wold view by giving people hope of a better future. Lex sees no such future.

There are people who revere the man from another world as a god.  Lex's view of Superman (Henry Cavill) is that he is a great lie that needs to be exposed.  In a nut shell the whole movie is about Lex exposing that lie with an incredibly complex plan to pit Batman against Superman with the hopeful result of the death of the 'False God'.  Despite all his wealth and intelligence, Lex Luther is a jealous man envious of those that Superman saves.  Why couldn't Superman rescue little Lex from his monster of a father?  After all, the young head of a billion dollar company is surely more important than the average person!

Jessie Eisenberg's Luthor is a man wearing a mask that has already began to crack from his growing ego and resentment of all those around him.  His intelligence is unmatched and he knows it.  The problem is that nobody else does.  He wants everyone to know!  He wants everyone to know that he is the one that figured out that Bruce Wayne is Batman!  He wants everyone to know that it was he that discovered the great Superman was nothing more than a farm boy from Smallville pretending to be a human with delusions of being a reporter!  Of course letting anyone know would jeopardize his plan on destroying the Son of Krypton.  All he can do is toy with them.

One of my favorite scenes is at Luthor's charity party.  He had invited both Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent.  Luthor introduces the two neither one knowing who the other is and Lex in the middle knowing all.  You can see he wants to scream it in their faces but Lex can't.  He can only play along all the while going more and more mad from his own extreme narcissism.

Jessie Eiesenberg's quirky and slightly unhinged performance of Lex Luthor disarmed me.  I figured he would create Doomsday judging by the movie trailers and that would be about it.  So what?  I wasn't impressed.  However, when Martha Kent is abducted at the diner I quickly realized that Lex Luthor already knew who Superman really was.  I was shocked!  I did not see that coming.  Lex became a villain that was a threat.  He brings Superman (God!) to his knees by simply throwing a few photo's on the ground of his kidnapped mother.  Luther's plan is unique in that it isn't about gaining more wealth or blowing up the whole world by the press of a button.  He wants Superman to bow before him and die not caring (or maybe unaware) that creating Doomsday would have destroyed the world if Superman hadn't stopped the nearly indestructible creature.

There is a line in the movie ANGUS about Superman not being brave since he is nearly indestructible.  That is a good line that makes you look at Superman a lot differently.  With his bravery questioned he seems not so great even though he is all powerful.  Batman himself almost quotes this line in the finale at the moment he is about to kill Superman.  One of my favorite things about this movie is that it addresses this issue.  The writers of BVS have created a Superman that can be destroyed with something other than kryptonite.  Bruce Wayne is shown a future where the world has been seemingly destroyed and Superman leading an army of stormtroopers for the new world order.  Superman has become what Wayne has feared most.  Evil.  How can that be?  Superman is still just a man.  His name is Clark Kent.  He has a choice.  Clark can live the quiet life with his love Lois Lane.  It would be a good life.  Yet he can't.  He cares too much and knows he can do more to help this troubled world.  Even though he is a man, he is a good man.  That is a choice he makes even as he struggles to find his place in society as helping those in need of saving.  Yet his good deeds are met by some with fear and skepticism.  Sometimes doing good may even lead to bigger disasters later on.  Lex Luthor does all he can to push Superman farther and farther from society's trust and love.  The evil billionaire doesn't see a bird or a plane.  He sees a monster in need of being destroyed and he wants the world to see the same.

Batman (Ben Affleck) is succumbing to the darkness that has changed so many in Gotham.  He too has lost faith in his own beliefs being an empty shell of a man symbolized by the rundown vacant Wayne estate.  This Batman brands the criminals he captures marking them for certain death once they enter the prison population.  In the heat of the moment he does not go out of his way to make sure bad guys are not killed in his crusade.  If they get in the way shooting, he shoots back.  At first the idea of a Batman that kills really bothered me.  It took me awhile to think about it but I realized that if Batman wasn't willing to kill then there would be no real conflict between him and Superman.  BVS gives us an older Caped Crusader who has seen good people go bad.  Batman is becoming a criminal himself.  You can't but help wonder who Wayne is referring to when he tells Alfred about good people gone bad.  Is he talking about Harvey Dent?  Perhaps Jason Todd?  Harley Quinn?  It is exciting to think about considering that there are at least three Batman movies coming after JUSTICE LEAGUE.

Martha....One of the most profound moments in BVS is when Superman tells Batman to "Save Martha!"  This moment is when Bruce Wayne sees Superman as a person and not a monster.  Superman has a mom.  But that is not all that is happening.  If you remember the beginning of the film we see the murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne.  We as an audience just assume that we are seeing, yet again, another origin of Batman.  Even though this scene is a dream showing us that Bruce Wayne is still haunted by his past, we don't understand what we are really watching is the set up to the moment when Batman realized that he had become a criminal.  All this time Batman had been fearing Superman becoming evil when he should have been fearful of himself becoming the same.  The mugger who killed Bruce Wayne's parents murdered them out of fear.  The murderer ran as soon as he shot them, too afraid to even stick around for a quick minute to take any valuables.  The 'Martha' moment has been much maligned by the film's detractors reducing it's importance to nothing more than two super heroes whose moms have the same name.  They are willingly ignorant if you ask me.  I think it's an ingenious way that the writers came up with for our two heroes to find something in common with each other.

Lois Lane (Amy Adams) is so important to the story.  In a big way she is the main character.  Through her and her street smarts she slowly uncovers the devious plan of Lex Luthor to isolate Superman from society and kill him.  She is the link between Superman and the world.  Without her Superman has no future worth living for especially with how negative society can be toward him.  She is a reminder as to why he fights for good.  It was she who saved Superman at the end from Batman informing the would be slayer of a god that Superman has a mother named Martha.

I think it was a great disservice to BVS to feature Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) in all the promotions for the film.  The movie itself makes you think she might be Catwoman with her stealing from Bruce Wayne a flash drive that he was using to steal information from Luthor.  They have some chemistry together and her name is never mentioned until the end.  I think the reveal of Wonder Woman would have had a greater impact on the audience if they found along with Bruce Wayne when he sees the old photo of her from World War I.  A big surprise like that could only help surpass audiences expectations.

There is a lot hate for this film.  I have no idea why.  Partially it comes from some fans who have a preconceived notion on who Superman is and how he should act.  They see him as an all wise man always zipping through the clouds with a smile on his face brimming with confidence in his abilities.  That is all well and good but not realistic for a man who is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.  I think if he was always smiling then the nay sayers would change course and accuse him of being too happy.  Superman has a unique relationship with the audience.  Just like the people of Earth have a love/hate with Superman so does the audience.   The audience always questions Superman's reactions to events.  Why couldn't Superman save his dad from a tornado?  Why couldn't Superman stop the destruction of Metropolis and save everyone?  Can't Superman go back in time and fix everything just like in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE?  It is just like when people are in bad times in their lives ask God why.  It is a different kind of fourth wall breaking.

Who is Superman, really?  I believe he represents all of us.  No matter who we are or what we look like, we all can do great things with whatever abilities we have.  Like Superman, we have to choose to do so.

I read an article about Kevin Smith watching BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE 8 times in an attempt to fall in love with it after it released on Blu-Ray.  He sees that there is something good here but can't quite see it.  I hope someone shows him this highly positive examining of the film.  I hope it helps in why he should love the movie.  This isn't a dumb fun movie.  The characters are respected giving them deep convictions, motivations and flaws.  There are many layers to every character and event depicted in this film.  It is as epic as it is serious with many elements to endlessly ponder.  That is a good thing.  It's not trying to be just like the Marvel films.  There is no need to course correct future films except maybe give the movie creators more creative control.   BVS has found its own unique style and is a better more exciting film than all the Marvel films put together.  That's right.  I said it.  Come and get me, Internets!

Let me just thank everyone again for the time and effort put into this film.  Just like the excellent WATCHMAN, the cinematography is stunning and boundary pushing complimented by the rousing music scores by Hans Zimmerman and Junkie XL.  There is a hyper focus on detail especially with the super hero costumes.  There is weight to our heroes movement grounding them in a sense of reality.  They don't look like a bunch of C.G.I. characters flying about more like cartoons than real people.  It truly is one of the greatest most epic comic book movies ever made.  Batman kung-fuing  the mercs in the warehouse with all his bat gadgets was exactly what we wanted in a Batman fight.  It was just like the Arkham games!  The fight between Superman and Batman is legendary worth the price of admission.  Everyone involved in making BATMAN V SUPERMAN has raised the bar.  Thank you, thank you and thank you!

Zach Snyder needs to direct THE FLASHPOINT PARADOX movie!

Jason

Why 2015's FANTASTIC 4 bombed.

So everyone seems to hate the new FANTASTIC 4 movie. But why?  Its not a bad film at all.  Read my review here. I didn't think it was going to be any good either but I went and saw it out of morbid curiosity and gosh dang it I liked it.  I think it is unfair how maligned the film has been received. Nobody went and saw it yet everyone talks about how bad it is.  The professional critics have been extremely negative but when have they had any integrity?  So what is the deal?  Why all the hate?  I figure I would use this post to try explain the poor performance and hostility toward the FANTASTIC 4.  I don't think it has anything to do with all the supposed behind the scenes troubles.  All productions have problems. I could be wrong but I do believe that those stories didn't come out or become big until the early word was that the film fantastically sucked.  The studio had already announced a date for the sequel indicating FOX had high hopes for the franchise.

The Fantastic 4 franchise maybe big in the old days in the comic book format but nowadays the mainstream audience probably doesn't even know what a Fantastic 4 is.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe started off strong by casting Robert Downing Jr. as Iron Man.  His appeal spreads across two major demographics in the mainstream audience.  I am not talking about fans of comics or movie fans.  I am talking about average movie goers that simply want entertainment.  He is sexy for the ladies and funny for the guys.  Chris Evans as Captain America is sexy for the ladies and an action hero for the guys.  The same can be said for the male leads in THOR and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.  THE HULK doesn't have a sexy funny lead and that movie didn't do so well.  Its a shame really.  Now look at the new FANTASTIC 4.  Miles Teller is not the macho sexy funny actor with the broad mainstream appeal.  He is an excellent actor and despite his youth is the right choice for Reed Richards.  He got snubbed for an Oscar nomination for WHIPLASH which is an excellent film by the way.  Also in today's world the powers of the Fantastic 4 may not be as appealing.  Having the powers of a Stretch Armstrong seems a little silly.  Being able to turn invisible or flaming into a human torch and being able to fly is kid stuff compared to today's more deadly heroes.  The Thing is another name for Hulk as far as mainstream audiences are concerned.

The entire approach to the new FANTASTIC 4 is all wrong.  We do not need a down to earth, realistic as possible origin story of these characters.  We already have an origin story.  When Spider-Man got rebooted it did not do so well as the originals.  It was too soon and audiences didn't want to slog through the same old origin story hooplah.  Who wants to see the same movie twice?  We want to see our heroes at the height of their careers.  There seems to be endless build ups to potential bigger stories that never come to fruition.  The newer Spider-Man films are examples of that.  It took two movies to tell a love story of Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy with a hint of things to come.  Those things never came.  The new FF movie spends almost the entire run time on their origin.  Only at the end do they become the Fantastic 4.  It is too forced with Dr. Doom making an appearance only to be killed off too easily and quickly for a villain that has such a huge reputation in the comics.  FOX doesn't care. Only name recognition matters. The movie seems to be ashamed of the comic books opting for a more realistic approach.

The biggest contribution to the FANTASTIC 4's failure is the Marvel fans themselves, the very people FOX supposedly wants to see this film.  There appears to be a concerted effort by the Marvelites to push for the supreme failure of this film.  I have seen Marvel fans implore people on Facebook and message boards to boycott the film in hopes of it's demise forcing Fox Studios to give up the rights to the film version.  Even without the geek-roots social media campaign there seems to be a desire for all comic book fans, myself included, to see Fantastic 4 in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  Just the thought of the movie's failure to possibly get FF into the M.C.U. is more than enough temptation to avoid the theaters like it were the D.M.V.  There is no need to get into the bland marketing campaign.  It wouldn't matter if the advertisements dazzled and amazed.  No one wanted Fox to put the movie out.  They wanted Marvel Studios to do it.  As of the writing of this post the "Tomatometer" at Rotten Tomatoes has a score of 9%.  That to me is extremely unfair.  Me thinks that people rated it low without seeing the movie first.  I can't prove that of course but the Fantastic 4 is a far better movie than WOLVERINE or THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.  Heck, BATMAN AND ROBIN has a score of 11%!

Maybe people shouldn't rely on a score to tell if a movie is good or not.  Just see it for yourself and decide.  Be a movie lover and not a coward too scared to like something the cool kids may not like.

Jason

FANTASTIC 4 (2015) is actually good!

I remember seeing the trailer for the new FANTASTIC 4.  I couldn't help but laugh.  It didn't take a crystal ball to know that this movie was going to fail. And fail it did!  The trailer depicted a bland colorless film that was going to use the tired old superhero movie formula of telling an origin story but confining the comic book element to a realistic Christopher Nolan approach with our heroes finally appearing in costume in the final act when the movie is over.  There was nothing new here.  It was also obvious that this movie was made just so Fox Studios could keep the movie rights to the FF franchise.  Worse yet there was an embargo on reviews for the film before opening day.  Were any of us surprised?  Of course when the embargo lifted all the reviews were negative. Despite all of this I had a strange desire to see it.  So I did.....and....I....liked it.  WHAT?!!!

FANT4STIC(?) tells the origin story of the Fantastic 4.  That is a good idea to start off a franchise......if it was the year 1999!  When it comes to comic book movies we no longer need to spend an entire movie telling a story we already know the ending to.  We have had two Spider-Man origin movies as well as a Ghostrider origin, a Green Lantern origin, Wolverine had one, Superman and Batman both had one Punisher too.  Enough already.  Nowadays it is extremely painful to sit through a trailer for an origin story let alone an entire movie.  That is the first big problem with this movie.  Oh, yea I said I liked this movie.  Maybe I should start with the positives.

The story is a good telling of our hero's origins.  This is more of a science fiction film rather than a straight up super hero film.  That's a good start.  From what I have been told (I am no expert on the Fantastic 4.) our heroes are more like explorers of science rather than traditional super heroes like Spider-man and Captain America.  All the actors are great in this movie.  If anyone complains about the acting ask them to compare them to Sandra Bernard in HUDSON HAWK.  That is an example of bad acting.  As a bad actor myself I can tell you with absolute authority that the acting in the new FF is good.  Kate Mara, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell and Reg E. Cathey are terrific portraying a make shift family that formed from the tragic event that gave them their powers.  These people are a genuine family.  That is very important and ultimately what FF is all about.  This is probably why I like this movie so much.  I sympathized with them.  When they suffer from their trip to the alternate universe or whatever that place is, I care what happens to them.  I want to know how they are going to deal with their physical changes and how their personalities have changed because of it.  Don't let the negative people who probably never even saw the film as evident from the box office results say that the acting sucks.  It doesn't.

When he finally appears, Dr. Doom is quite a scary presence in the film.  Ignore the internet memes.  Toby Kebbell is not given much to do with the mishandled back story to the Fantastic 4's most iconic villain.  But as a testament to his acting ability he has made Victor Von Doom, a flawed jealous driven individual, likable.  He has a too brief scene drinking at the lab with Miles Reed Richards and Johnny Storm.  The three are building a short lived camaraderie that works.  This scene emphasizes the tragedy of losing Von Doom in the chaos of the alternate dimension planet thing.  They lose a real friend.  When he returns as Dr. Doom he lives up to his name.  Walking through corridors of the army complex killing soldiers left and right with "Force" powers is truly frightful. He is a monster that wants to return to the alternate world to build life his way.  I kind of like that even though I would have preferred a more accurate to the comics story of Dr. Doom.  I think the end fight was really good too even though it is extremely predictable.  Apparently the Fantastic 4 was too busy doing science stuff to watch the original TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movie.  If they had they would know not to attack Dr. Doom individually but together as a team.  Watch more t.v., kids.

Like all comic book movies there are some changes.  Reed Richards is young, Johnny Storm is black.  So what!  None of this detracts from the movie.  Even Dr. Doom's origin isn't terrible.  Its just different.  There is a lot of negative to write about with this movie but it is not a terrible movie.  Its way better than THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and THE WOLVERINE.  Those two movies have more problems than the new FF movie but receive all kinds of praise.  THE DARK KNIGHT RISES shows that Joker defeated Batman in the previous film since Wayne stops being the Caped Crusader.  I don't think the creators of TDKR meant to imply that. Wolverine in THE WOLVERINE pretty much just beats up some old guy in a supped up wheelchair after having his own butt handed to him by a bunch of ninjas. FF didn't bomb because its a bad movie.  There is more to it than that.  Give this movie a watch.  See for yourself.  If you had lower than low expectations like I did going in you may just be surprised. I plan on writing a part 2 to this review dealing with the problems of this film and the circumstances that I believe led to the box office failure and poor review scores but that is for another time.

Jason

2014's TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES is 'TURTLE-BLE!'

What a lazy and horrible title for this post, isn't it?  You probably clicked on this post just to mock the writer of such a title and you would be right to do so.  But let me ask you this.  Does the new TMNT movie deserve a better effort?  I think not.  What a way to mess up a potentially terrific franchise from the start!  You would think that a movie about teenage mutant ninja turtles would be full of originality and with today's special effects the look of our heroes in a half shell can finally be made to look right.  Nope!  This movie is a rehash of what we have already seen before which is fine to establish key elements of the Turtles but then you realize that you have seen all of this in recent movies from the past few years as well.  Heroes in a half shell?  More like heroes in a half-assed story.

I am going to get real stupid when describing the plot so bear with me on this one.  I want to show how stupid the story is by being stupid myself.  So  a rich guy and a ninja watched THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN and THE TRANSFORMERS and decided to be bad guys and put a thing on top of a building that makes a poison cloud to poison the city for the sole purpose of being rulers of the world and really really rich.  They are already rich but whatever.  Don't pay attention to that part of the story.  Teenage mutant ninja turtles show up and stop them.  There are some hijinks that happen along the way, some weirdo shows up in what looks like an inflatable Whoopi Goldberg costume but very little in the way of real character development or bonding occurs.  We the audience are never drawn into the story.  Maybe we are amused by the colorful special effects and flashy camera work or distracted by the haphazardly strewn random shots of movement that make up most of the poorly staged fight sequences.  In any case it looks like a wreck..

The good news is that the turtle characters are each unique individuals.  Each one stands apart from the other in personality and design.  Other than their disturbingly too human faces they look great.  There were a couple of times Michelangelo actually said something that made me laugh.  He is the funny one.  That is what he does.  Leo is still the leader.  Don wears googly goggles to indicate that he is into high tech gadgets and stuff.  Raph is still the wannabe loner that loves his brothers too much to be apart from them.  They are likable enough to give me hope for a better sequel.  The turtles are fine except for one glaring problem.....

They are not ninjas!!!

Remember when us Turtle geeks were in an outrage because supposedly the studio was making the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles aliens instead of mutants?  I remember.  Studios love jacking up important details of characters from comics and cartoons when making a movie version of them.  It happens to them all but this was too huge of a change.  Apparently that whole story was a lie or the studio changed it back to not upset the target audience.  Now that the movie is out and I have seen it and had time to ponder it I have realized that the 'Ninja' part of the Turtles is not true at all.  Master Splinter isn't a master of anything.  He found a book of martial arts in the sewer that was probably written by Napoleon Dynamite and suddenly they are well trained ninjas.  What would a rat know about ninja stuff?  The only thing I know about ninjas is that they wear black pajamas and have their butts handed to them by Michael Dudikoff.  Its a good thing Splinter didn't find a cook book.  What would motivate them to train so hard and become martial artists anyway?  Its not like they had any connection to Shedder or expected him to show up sometime in the future.  He was just in the same building they were kept in before they became mutated.  The foundation to build a strong character confrontation is absent.  They have no past together.  When Shedder and Splinter meet for the first time down in the sewer they act like they know each other but we know they don't.  The whole scene has no effect except to highlight the badly written first draft story.

Shredder poses no threat to the Turtles whatsoever.  The movie hyper sizes everything.  The Turtles are pretty much four Hulks running around with super strength.  There is no reason for them to have martial arts training.  Their mutation has made them super strong and super fast.  Shedder who is trained in martial arts and ninja stuff could do nothing to them.  Thankfully he is really really into the TRANSFORMERS movies and made himself a fully functioning Megatron suit.  If he hadn't happened to make that suit he would be no adversary.  Why would a ninja who relies on his own physical abilities create a robot suit?  No reason. I guess originally Shedder was the white dude.  That would explain the suit sort of.

There are all kinds of weird moments that don't make much sense when you think about it.  Splinter gets mortally wounded and the Turtles decide to get the ooze that transformed them because that will heal him.  Since when did the ooze have healing powers?  I could be wrong but the ooze was never considered something that could heal.  It just mutated you into whatever thingy that could be made into an action figure and sold in stores.  In TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 2: SECRET OF THE OOZE was the secret that the ooze had aloe vera in it?  Did I miss that part?  I think it would be funny if the Turtles got the ooze to Splinter and tried pouring it down his throat and he said "Why are you feeding me toxic waste?"  That is what the ooze is anyway.   Another time Raphael is the only one not captured by Shedder.  Raph goes to save them but when he finds them Shedder shows up as Megatron and beats the poop out of our turtle hero.  Instead of killing or capturing Raph, Shedder just abruptly walks out of the room like some kind of badass.  Maybe Shedder was just caught up in the moment to realize that he just left Raph alone to free his brothers and eventually ruin Shedders plans.

People need to stop blaming Megan Fox for the film not being very good.  She does a fine job with what she is given.  Her character is given plenty to do even if we the audience don't care.  She is just a victim to the bad script.  Hopefully in the next installment things will come together with a more pleasing outcome.  Hey, at least they have casted Steven Amell as Casey Jones in the next installment.  That's a good start.

Jason

R.I.P.D. parties like its 1996!

Maybe if R.I.P.D. came out in 1996 it would be considered a good movie.  Not great but good just like the first MEN IN BLACK movie.  Movies like R.I.P.D. and the MEN IN BLACK trilogy rely on people showing up to the theater to be amused by their big special effects and know that the movie is good because big name movie stars agreed to be in it.  These are not story driven films.  The plots are always about saving the entire world from some big disaster thingy because that is as big as the story can be.  But it is not 1996.  We have seen bigger better films made that take the material seriously.  R.I.P.D. I believe is based off a comic.  If so this movie maybe more like Stallone's JUDGE DREDD where the source material was jettisoned to make way for weaker, blander, safer story elements that would equal box office success and not so much artistic credibility.

So....Ryan Reynolds is a good cop who makes one questionable decision but decides he is going to correct that decision but is murdered by his corrupt partner, Kevin Bacon.  After being murdered Ryan Reynolds is pulled up into Heaven for judgement but before he meets his maker he is suddenly pulled into the R.I.P.D. unit to be partnered up with Jeff Bridges to have a formulaic adventure where the two cops are first at odds with each other but then learn to appreciate one another's differences while at the same time saving the world from complete annihilation by a big swirling C.G.I. thingy. (See movie poster for details)  Its one of those movies you have seen so many times you know the whole movie by the trailer.

You would think that maybe the film would be funny or at the least bit entertaining with two great stars like Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges.  I like these two...but not in this movie.  It is not for their lack of trying either.  Both do a fine job with the material that they are given.  There just isn't much to work with.  Their characters are as realistic as the big cartoon special effects.  Ryan tries to give his vanilla character some charm but despite the film spending much of the run time following him he just isn't given anything to do that would make him a stand out character.  The film would rather bore us with repetitive adventure scenes of cartoon zombie ghost whatevers bouncing and running about until finally caught or shot into nonexistence.  The movie figures the audience will be too bored with character development.  In the end our two heroes never develop a genuine bond of friendship.  We the audience could care less what happens to these two.

The ideas that form R.I.P.D. seem to be under cooked.  Take for example the Deados.  Are they ghosts?  Are they zombies?  What are they exactly?  They hide in human form but do they all look how they used to look when they were alive?  Wouldn't that just make it easier for the good guys to tell who was dead without the Deados making themselves look normal?  The R.I.P.D. folks look like totally different people.  Ryan Reynolds comes back to earth looking like James Hong which is the one funny thing in this movie.  Do the Deados look like completely different people too?  You would think the R.I.P.D. would have a list of who was dead and not suppose to be on earth anymore.  When you shoot a Deado with R.I.P.D.'s guns the Deado is erased from existence.  I think if you were a Deado you would want that rather than being condemned to hell.  It almost encourages them to be bad.  Why not just shoot them all so they don't build a thing that causes another thing to happen that makes the world overrun with Deados.  It is not like shooting them is overly cruel.  They wouldn't even know what happened to them.  I just don't get this movie.

No matter where the camera is placement or how big the special effect the film fails in every way to engage the audience.  The Deados are big blurbs shrinky-dinked on the screen never looking real and hard to see any detail to their features.  They move about the screen in blurs.  These effects are cartoons.  They don't look real.  They look annoying.  This wouldn't be bad if it were in the early to mid nineties.  We could forgive them then but now with so many advancements in the technology where often it is hard to tell what is real and what is computer there is no excuse except for a lack of passion for the project.  Maybe they wanted more cartoony to go along with the comedic nature of the film but it still means we are giving visuals that do not impress or even leave a lasting image in your head.  In fact it is kind of hard to remember what even happened in this movie after watching it.  Even bad films leave an impression.  R.I.P.D. is so mediocre it is forgettable and that is the biggest travesty for any film.  Unless you are an actor in that film for which you would want people to forget the mediocre bad movie you were in.

R.I.P.D. has a good concept of ghost cops hunting down ghost bad guys.  There is a good story there somewhere.  Hopefully this movie gets remade faster than the Spider-Man  films.  The same thing could happen that happened to DREDD.  The original wasn't very good but eventually a truly great DREDD film was made.  That is probably the best R.I.P.D. fans could hope for.  With Hollywood remaking everything there is no doubt R.I.P.D. will get the remake treatment.  You just might be working for the R.I.P.D. when it happens.

Jason

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST rights the wrongs in more ways than one.

This review is going to contain big time spoilers, folks.  In fact this review is not about the film itself but the spoilers themselves and how important they are.  If you haven't seen the new X-Men movie (Quick review:  It's AMAZING) then go see it and then read my review.......If you get bored enough of course.

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST is a rare kind of film.  When I say rare I do believe a movie like this has never ever been done before in the whole history of movies.  Maybe I am wrong but I am not going to bother to do the research to find out.  What DAYS does is go back and correct some of the really bad story decisions that were made in the weaker entrees of the franchise.  That's right, folks.  If there was something you didn't like in X-MEN : THE LAST STAND or in X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE this movie tries to correct it.  How unique and never done before is that?  DAYS sets a new possibility in future fantasy movies.  If you mess something up just make a sequel dealing with time travel to fix it.  Hopefully the STAR WARS movie makers are paying attention.  (*cough*THE PREQUELS NEVER HAPPENED*cough*)

As movie franchises produce more and more sequels, Hollywood has a tendency to make each new sequel worse than the one before it.  It gets so bad that studios try to hide the fact that they made a part 5 of something by removing the number and giving the movie a really long terrible title.  Instead of saying DIE HARD part 5 we say ITS A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD.  Really?  DAYS doesn't have the number either but the makers try and make the best dang X-Men film possible.  It is really hard for me to say which is better, DAYS or X2.  Both have great stories that engage your emotions and thoughts but DAYS has a special purpose.  It was made not to just tell a great story but to correct past mistakes that ruined the franchise.  Three of those mistakes were killing off Jean Grey, Scott Summers and Rogue choosing to lose her powers which made her special.  These decisions had limited what we can expect to see in future X-MEN movies.  They were never going to be the same ever again in a bad way.  The relationships would never grow and develop.  Rogue would never grow super strength and gain the ability to fly making her a more important member of the team.  Worst of all Wolverine and Scott would never be able to bounce off one another which was a big reason why the first two films were so good.

DAYS is all about traveling back in time and changing the past to correct the present.  Mystique kills some guy in the past and that causes the Sentinel program to commence which in time leads to the destruction of all mutant-kind.  Wolverine of course is the only one who can go back so far in time so once again he takes the lead role but it is a new kind of role.  Remember in LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING when Sauron sends his mouth piece to go out from the gates to talk because Sauron has no mouth of his own because he is dead?  Basically that is what Wolverine has become.  He is Xavier's mouth piece to convince his younger self to stop Mystique.  Since only his mind can go back in time and occupy his younger body, Wolverine has no metal skeleton.  Meaning at the end he really has no power to make a difference and is easily dispatched!  What an amazing decision on the writers of this film.  It looks like just another Wolverine movie but in the end Wolverine does nothing but get killed kind-of-sort-of.  DAYS takes a really big risk and it pays off.  Wolverine has one small moment when he uses his claws on some goons but he never goes beserker rage which the nerdos look forward to most in these films.  This time saving the world comes down to the decision made by Mystique.

By the end we see Jean Grey is still alive as well as Scott Summers.  Rogue never lost her powers and Wolverine is now a teacher at the school as if he never left to go find himself.  There are questions though left unanswered which mostly deal with Wolverine himself.  Does he still have his metal skeleton and if so did he go through the whole process of losing his memories again and is he still missing the metal on one of his claws?  DAYS doesn't say or maybe it does without being obvious and I didn't catch on.  Still it is nice to see the really bad mistakes are corrected and we can hopefully see the old band back together again in X-MEN: APOCALYPSE aka X-MEN part 7.

Jason

THE WOLVERINE is CLAWLESS!

I have been reading a lot of praise lately for the new Wolverine movie referring to it as the Wolverine movie we have always wanted.  I got to tell ya, folks.  I completely disagree.  Many will argue that X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE was terrible while overlooking the many more faults the new WOLVERINE has.  Dare I say that ORIGINS is a better film than the new.  Maybe that is going a little too far.  Nah, screw it.  ORIGINS is a better film overall.  While ORIGINS did screw up a lot of Wolverine's back story it did at least have a story you could follow with a strong villain and characters like Wolverine and Sabertooth that had some chemistry together.  Liev Schreiber was fantastic.  THE WOLVERINE has none of that.    Be aware of possible spoilers ahead.


THE WOLVERINE begins in World War 2 with our title character being held captive in a Japanese P.O.W. camp.  Yashida, a Japanese officer is releasing all the prisoners knowing that an atomic bomb is about to be dropped on them.  Wolverine saves the officer from the bomb blast and all the radiation somehow.  Decades later the now old Yashida is dying and seeks Wolverine to give him a gift.  That gift, it turns out, is the ability to take away Wolverine's X-Factor and give it to someone else.  After rejecting that offer because its stupid, Wolverine gets tangled up in the family drama and ends up saving Mariko, the granddaughter of Yashida from a bunch of bad guys and ninjas and stuff.  Oh, and they manage to stop Wolverine from using his healing abilities so now he is vulnerable to bullets, sharp pointy objects and harsh language.

The film does everything in its power to shoot itself in the foot.  Over and over again weird little moments happen making me question if anyone paid attention to the script whatsoever.  At the beginning this bear that Wolverine kind of sort of befriends has killed a bunch of stereotypical redneck hunters because they used a poison arrow that caused the bear to go crazed.  One of the hunters escaped and Wolverine tracks him down in a bar the same night.  The hunter lost all his friends and went immediately to a bar instead of the police station.  That doesn't make much since.  Later THE WOLVERINE descends into an empty and passionless love story.  We are shown four too many times that Wolverine is madly in love with the very dead Jean Grey who appears to him in dreams.  He opens up and expresses his emotions to this dream girl.  However with the very much alive Mariko he merely has the sex with her to show his interest.  Its weird and never develops into anything believable.  When Yashida dies there is a funeral for him.  Wolverine shows up and notices some guy hiding on a nearby roof.  Nothing suspicious about that!  Wolverine ignores him!  But when Wolverine notices a monk participating in the funeral has a tattoo on his arm he jumps into action and starts killing everybody.  What if the monk was some reformed junkie or criminal?  Wouldn't that be the first thing you would think of?  Not kidnapping!  It doesn't make sense that the suspicious guy hiding out on the roof that clearly doesn't want to be seen doesn't kick on Wolverine's Spidey Senses while some monk with a tattoo does.

The villains are generic and never pose a real threat to Wolverine.  Ultimately the last bad guy Wolverine has to take down is some old guy in a robot suit.  That suit by the way contains the power to absorb Wolverine's powers.  That is kind of stupid.  Wouldn't just a little bit of Wolverine's DNA or whatever be enough?  There is this one woman who is a scientist and a venomous mutant called the Viper.  I think that was her name.  Who cares I guess.  She is a little more interesting but really the story doesn't give her much to work with.  We could care less about their motivations.  They just are not that interesting of characters.

The two characters that work the most together are Wolverine and Yukio.  A real movie of their new friendship would have been great and something new and different.  Instead once Wolverine is back in Japan she almost completely disappears into the background.

THE WOLVERINE overall feels unfocused and unsure of what the audience wants.  We want a badass Wolverine running around killing bad guys with his claws with a smart story that knows how to use him in the most prolific way.  Instead we have a muddle mess of a story with unclear motivations for almost all the characters.  The fight scenes are incredibly unimpressive with so many shots too close to leave much of a visual impact.  Wolverine himself looks like he is just punching people instead of running them through with his trademark claws.  The biggest let down of all is at the end when Wolverine confronts an army of ninjas and he says something to the effect that they are going to need more.  He couldn't be more wrong.  They kick the crap out of him.  At first he kills a few of them but then for no reason other than bad writing he tries to run right by all of them.  They simply shoot him in the back with a bunch of arrows and down he goes leaving us with the impression that his bark is bigger than his bite.  Lame.

By the end of THE WOLVERINE I was left a little cold by the film.  It is not one of the worst but it is undeserving of all the praise that seems to be coming from the Nerdosphere out there.  I think they are just in denial at this time.  In generations to come I believe that THE WOLVERINE will be mostly forgotten lost in the jumble of the better X-MEN films and forth coming AVENGERS movies.  Just face the facts ('facts' meaning my unenlightened opinion of myself and not the dictionary definition of), Nerds.  THE WOLVERINE at best is ORIGINS equal not better.  I do like at the end that they take away Wolverine's adamantium claws.  His bone claws come back but I would have loved to have heard the gasps of a theater full of nerds when Wolverine's metal claws were cut from his body.  Oh, the humanity!  I feel like that scene is like some kind of metaphor for the whole movie.  There is not a whole lot of positive to stick your claws into.

Jason

DREDD: Why didn't any of you go see this film?

DREDD............It was violent.  It was unapologetically rated R.  It was smart so of course that means it bombs big time at the box office.  You know what that means?  Some movie studio big shots are going to say, "R rated action movies are out and PG-13 is back in.  Somebody call Len Wiseman and tell him to direct all the DIE HARDS from now on."  Dang it, people!  This was a movie that needed our support.  It did everything just about right.  DREDD is a unique movie for this day and age.  To me at least it was a special movie going experience.  Oddly enough it was what the movie didn't do that made it so special.

Dredd and a new rookie police trainee are locked inside a large 200 story apartment building which is basically a small city by a highly organized gang run by a woman named Ma-Ma.  With no way out the two ascend to the top floor to take down the gang leader and bring her to justice.  Yea, its kind of similar to THE RAID.  And like THE RAID, DREDD keeps the story and character back grounds simple.  That is very important.  DREDD spends little time explaining who Dredd is.  He is a cop that judges bad guys and that is all you need to know.  We don't have that scene where he is in his crummy apartment waking up from an all night bender getting a call from his partner to get up after being asleep all day.  We don't see him stumble about his broken down kitchen grabbing any left over food he can find including left over pizza that fell on the floor and then putting it in a blender and drinking it like a real man.  We don't see pictures of his dead/divorced wife and his son/daughter who is dead/not-talking-to-him-anymore.  We get none of that stereotype stuff here.  Dredd is left as a mystery.  Only by the actions he takes throughout the film do we know what kind of person he really is.

There is no back story connection between Dredd and the main bad guy, Ma-Ma.  She didn't murder his family back when he was a kid guiding his path of vengeance to join the police force.  She isn't his cloned evil sister.  Ma-Ma knows nothing about Dredd.  She isn't even trying to kill him in the movie.  She wants the guy he arrests dead because of what information he may have regarding Ma-Ma's drug operation. 

The story itself doesn't involve saving the world or anything.  By the end when all is said and done you are left with the realization that what we just saw was just another day on the job for Dredd.  He doesn't take his helmet off smiling and saying something stupid about needing a vacation.  Nope he just goes back to work.  There is a stop the bomb from exploding element at the end but it doesn't involve destroying the whole city like every other comic book movie out there.

Not everyone knows who Dredd is.  He isn't widely feared by the local crime bosses.  No one shivers at the mention of his name.  To them he is just another cop.  But after unloading millions of rounds from two or three mini-guns into a city block just to kill him and he emerges from the burning wreckage just to throw your #2 man off the balcany and then just walks away like its no big deal disappearing into the smoke like a large briefly glimpsed Sasquatch they start getting the idea that they are dealing with some kind of super badass cop.  I like that this movie doesn't need to explain how badass Dredd is.  You see it for yourself.  When a hit squad of corrupt cops show up to kill Dredd they ask Ma-Ma if she knows who she is dealing with.  She says, "No."  Which they reply "We do."  And then the squad demands a pay increase because they know Dredd and what he is capable of.  That is a terrific way to show how badass Dredd is.  They didn't even need to open a folder and read his profile.

While I was watching DREDD I couldn't help but feel like I was watching a movie from the eighties updated with today's technology.  It is hard to put my finger on why.  I think it is because visually the film is more down to earth despite having some large computer generated city buildings and flying ships.  It has a grit to it similar to ROBOCOP.  The violence at times is bloody and over the top while other times it is very simple with BANG-BANG-bad-guy-falls-down type action.  There is a weight to everything.  There isn't a lot of C.G.I. crazy crap flying around all over the place.  Dredd is imposing.  His walk is dominant and straight letting everyone know that this guy doesn't compromise.  The audience is assured that something awesome is going to happen by his presence on the screen.

DREDD isn't perfect.  It did get a little slow at times but I like slow.  I watch films from the seventies.  I found the entire film to be an exciting violent action film that didn't insult my intelligence.  Way to go, DREDD.  Carl Urban deserves an Academy Award for Badassness with this film.  Not once does he take off his helmet.  I assume that is how it is in the comics.  Its nice to see they stick to the comic as much as possible when it comes to the Dredd character.  I guess there just aren't that many DREDD fans out there.  Thanks, Stallone.  I hope everyone supports this film when it comes out on DVD.  I don't think you will be disappointed.........much.

Jason

SAMURAI AVENGER: THE BLIND WOLF

I do believe if you took the top row of my DVD collection and smashed them together to form one ultimate movie the result would be SAMURAI AVENGER. Prominently displayed on my top shelf are all my Samurai, Kung-fu, and Italian Westerns DVDs. These films are all very violent, very colorful and very fun. They appeal to my more adolescent side wanting nothing more to see than bloody revenge carried out on wave after wave of well deserving bad guys. Though they come from different countries with different visual styles these films all tap into the same themes. Most of the time they are stories of a stranger showing up somewhere who is highly proficient when it comes to killing. They usually have the fastest draw with the gun or the sword and always have the right thing to say at any given situation. These are the heroes. Usually they are drifters out to to seek revenge. Like KILL BILL, SAMURAI AVENGER is a celebration of these films blending swords and guns together perfectly but with a much lower budget. The film makers call it a "Sushi Western".

SAMURAI AVENGER pretends to be a lost exploitation grindhouse film from the seventies that has been restored with scratches left in the film that were unavoidable. At the beginning of the film an up tight narrator explains that this is a directors cut and when possible the excessively violent scenes have been restored using the best source material available and that we should excuse the poor quality of certain shots in the film. If you ever watched DJANGO on DVD they have a similar notification at the beginning of the movie minus the narrator. So what we have here is a GRINDHOUSE clone but with Samurai/Italian Westerns instead of horror movies. Hey, at least they don't do that whole "missing reel" thing that other wannabe directors do.  That only worked in GRINDHOUSE.  Dear young film makers of today, please stop making GRINDHOUSE inspired rip-offs.  We get it.  We all love Tarantino.  You don't need to make movies that do nothing more than copy his style to show your love.  Thank you.  SAMURAI AVENGER is an exception.

Kurando Mitsutake plays the Blind Wolf who is on a journey to kill the man responsible for murdering his wife and daughter and forcing him to poke out his own eyes with a stick.  What a bastard.  But he must kill the seven assasins that stand in his way.  A mysterious drifter shows up and helps him on his journey.  Kurando Mitsutake does a fantastic job playing the playing the Blind Wolf which was heavily inspired by the Katsu Shintaro version of Zatoichi.  He has Katsu's facial mannerism down perfectly.  Kurando really does look like Zatoichi.  The Drifter isn't too bad but nothing too special.  Played by Jeffery James Lippold I think his character is suppose to represent the Clint Eastwood mysterious stranger from Leone's "Man with no name" trilogy.  He looks more like an underwear model......Acts like one too.  The main bad guy played by Domiziano Arcangeli is way over the top but in a good way.  He kind of looks like the demon offspring of Klaus Kinski and the Devil assuming that the Devil is really a woman.  He is intense and all over the place with his performance savoring every vile and deplorable act.  He bites the ear off of Wolf's wife for crying out loud!......Really good stuff.  A couple of times they film him with a "fish" lens to distort and widen his psychotic looking grin.  I didn't think this was necessary since the actor does a better job of looking crazy without gimmicky camera tricks which do nothing more than distract from his performance.  I really liked him a lot.

The film itself is full of cheesy highly exaggerated gore effects.  Like the LONE WOLF & CUB movies and other Japanese samurai films from the seventies there is blood spray everywhere.  Every wound is a fountain of red stuff.  Don't be surprised to see exposed intestines, decapitations, severed limbs, and major impalement issues galore.  This film has it all even though some of those shots are made to look damaged to make the film look old and poorly restored.  The fights are kind of non-existent with the good guys merely swinging their sword once then cutting to the bad guy spraying blood everywhere.  Quick sword fights aren't really a bad thing since in LONE WOLF & CUB Ogami Itto takes down his enemies usually in one or two moves but at least those scenes were better filmed.

The greatest enjoyment I got from the film is recognizing all the nods and homages to the old classics I love so much.  You can tell that Kurando who not only starred but directed and partially wrote SAMURAI AVENGER truly loves these movies too.  This film is a love letter to them.  There is a great scene between Wolf and the Drifter where they get into an argument about killing a witch that is also pregnant.  Not caring about losing his honor by killing an evil woman who is the expectant mother of an innocent Wolf wants to kill her right away.  The Drifter stops him causing a little bit of conflict between the two.  With the swing of the sword the Drifter slashes open the witch's stomach allowing the baby (played by a painfully obvious gore covered plastic doll) to fall into Wolf's arms.  A little bit later Amanda Plummer shows up in a van and the Drifter gives her the baby.  I guess that is the homage to Tarantino since she was in PULP FICTION.  Hurray?  Anyhoo Wolf thanks Drifter and tells him that he was right for not allowing him to kill the child and that revenge isn't the only thing left in this world.  It's a really great character developing moment that strengthens the friendship of these two master swordsmen and sets up for some greater drama in the last act.  Good stuff.

But......SAMURAI AVENGER has some problems.

The writing is probably the weakest aspect of the film with most of the best lines lifted from other movies as homages.  While the film gives us unique scenarios and scenes it tries too hard to make our hero sound like a badass.  Sometimes a hero should be seen and not heard especially when the hero's wit isn't as sharp as his sword.  The film falls a little short when it comes to the Wolf trying to sound tough.  He doesn't sound too intimidating when he says things like "Tell me something I don't already know" or "I don't even fear bullets."  For a mysterious stranger he sure does like to talk a lot.  Kurando should have relied more on his own strong presence in the film and the actions his character takes to emphasise how badass his character is.  Remember a badass doesn't have to prove himself to anyone and he sure as heck doesn't have to explain with words how badass he really is.  Bad guys should learn how badass a hero is by getting themselves dead by his actions not by being bored to death by bragging.

SAMURAI AVENGER kind of falls into nerdy HIGHLANDER territory focusing too much time on simply sliding a sword into it's sheathe.  It doesn't happen throughout the film but it does happen enough for me to complain about it.  When a bad guy is dispatched the film just stops to show a slow motion Wolf or Drifter sliding their dang Samurai sword into it's sheathe.  It's like sword porn for Nerdos that watch too much Anime.  It makes me think the film believes a hero is only as badass as the sword he carries.  Just because you are holding a sword in a mean pose does not make you a tough guy.  It makes you look like a nerd especially when you are practising your "sword techniques" in the backyard.  The only thing you are going to scare off are the ladies.

The narrator's voice could put a meth addict to sleep.  From time to time throughout the movie he stops the film to explain what is going on.  It is a good addition to the film especially since there is a lot of cultural stuff that needs explained but I do wish the narrator was a little more energetic.  The voice itself has a tendency to kill the momentum of the film.

ZATOICIHI, LONE WOLF & CUB, THE WILD BUNCH, DJANGO, THE OUTFIT and one of my favorites THE GREAT SILENCE are all referenced in SAMURAI AVENGER along with many other films I can't recall or just never seen.  There are zombies (Luci Fulci?) too with a small touch of science fiction added in at the ending.  Stay past the credits is all I can say.  Some of the sets are cheap looking but I think that isn't really a negative.  I think it adds to the fantastical artistic side of the film.  SAMURAI AVENGER isn't meant to be a realistic movie.  It is a post-modern film about the many different genres of films.  I know there are a lot of films you need to see first before you can fully appreciate SAMURAI AVENGER.  If you really really liked KILL BILL then give this one a chance.  You won't be disappointed...............probably.


Jason

DOLPH LUNDGREN'S THE PUNISHER is highly underrated because I say so.

THE PUNISHER starring Dolph Lundgren is the second best Punisher film out of the three.  Much maligned by critics and the nerds this action packed comic book movie maybe far from the source material but I say take a closer look.  Is it really?  Is it really as bad as the nerdos on the Internet say it is?  I say this Punisher film is a better made and smarter movie than most action movies in general.......And by "smarter" I mean this movie does what it is suppose to do better than most action movies.

The story, simply put, is about the Punisher getting mixed up in a gang war between the mafia and the Japanese Yakuza.  The Yakuza are as cutthroat as they come killing any and all that get in their way including Peter Bear who apparently "really cares".  After five years of killing mobsters the major crime families unite to stop themselves from killing each other.  Unfortunately for them the Yakuza see their weakness and move in on the mobs territory.  Unfortunately for the Yakuza however, that territory happens to be the hunting grounds of the Punisher.  Whoops.

As an action movie DL's THE PUNISHER is either ahead of its time or the last of the truly great action films before everything went PG-13 emphasising the spectacle over violent action.  There are plenty of scenes of bad guys getting shot up, stabbed, and ran over.  They are all filmed well capturing the excitement of the violence with well choreographed shoot'em up fight scenes.  Often the action flows fast with longer than usual continuous shots similar to a John Woo style action piece.  Heck, even the car chase scene was exciting.  It can get wonderfully excessive too like the early eighties action films.  There is a part where the Punisher and crime boss Gianni Franco (Jerden Krabbe) emerge from an open elevator and begin machine gunning the crapola out of about twenty guards that were armed with nothing but swords.  I know a lot of you nerdos out there think you look cool swinging your samurai swords around and all but a sword isn't going to do much but make you look stupid when a gun is pointed right at you.  The scene reminded me a bit of the kill'em all and make it look easy ending to COMMANDO.  A high body count is always welcome in a Punisher film and Dolph's does it right.

Comic book movie wise THE PUNISHER loses it's 'Street Cred' with the source material.  I only say that because gone is the trademark white Punisher Skull glowing from his chest.  MARVEL wouldn't allow it.  Whatever.  I do feel that the look of the film itself looks very close to the early days of the Punisher comic.  Neither were too colorful with a slight grey overtone.  I don't think this was done on purpose.  It was probably an accident or I am completely wrong and I don't know what I am talking about which seems more probable.  I also like that this isn't an origin story and the Punisher isn't out for revenge even though the majority of guys he kills belong to the crime organization that was responsible for the death of his family.  So there are a couple of things that DL's THE PUNISHER gets right.  I appreciate that.  Oh, and there are ninjas too just like in the comic.  In case you didn't know it was a ninja who killed Microchip's son.  Sadly Microchip does not appear in this Punisher.  They replaced him with a drunk, out of work, homeless thespian (actor) who has a tendency to speak in rhyme.  I actually like this character even though he can be seen as an annoyance.  He serves as the Punisher's informant.  He is the 'funny' character that doesn't belong in any action film.  But he didn't really bother me too much.  I will give him a pass.  That will be my one good deed for the day.

Lady Tanaka (Kim Miyori) is the crime boss of the Yakuza.  They don't get much more eviler than her.  She is bloody brilliant.  As a tremendously strong presence in the film she comes across as unstoppable and superior to all around her.  Her appearance in the film along with her small army of ninjas raise the bar in villainy.  In fact the crime boss Gianni Franco who is a badass himself has to team up with the Punisher who has been trying to kill him the past five years just to come close to bringing her down.  When it comes to movie comic book villains she has to be one of the best and baddest.  Its too bad none of the know-nothing-nerdos out there will ever give her credit because she doesn't shoot laser beams or control metal or whatever the bad guys in comic book movies are doing these days. 

I know the opening credits at the beginning of the film look a little cheap with the same shot of the Dolph turning around and shooting glass figures of criminals and ninjas.  They reuse the same shot over and over again.  It's not too creative but give the movie a break.  Let it do what a good Punisher film does.  Kill lots of the guilty violently as possible.  This is a great movie and one of Dolph Lundgren's best action movies.  He does a great job portraying the solemn tortured and sometimes naked Frank Castle.  Unfortunately he does have some stupid lines trying to be a wiseguy in the face of certain doom.  There is a part where the Punisher is being tortured on a table that stretches him out by his arms and legs.  Lady Tanaka asks a question for which the Punisher responds "Is the answer True/False or Multiple choice?"  Terrible.  Just terrible.  Save the comedy for the professionals, Dolph.  Yea, I know he didn't write it but he is tough enough to punch the writer in the face and make him change the dialague is all I am saying.  I love this movie.  I don't think it gets the credit it deserves.  Watch it and see for yourselves.

Oh, and Academy Award winner Louis Gossett Jr. is in this movie too.  I guess I should mention that as well...................*cough*.


Jason

DIRTY LAUNDRY: THOMAS JANE'S PUNISHER SHORT FILM

So the Punisher wakes up in the back of his van from a nightmare of his family being murdered.  The event still haunts him.  He gets out and goes to the laundry mat while hoods doing "hood rat things with their friends" show up and start harassing some hookers.  The leader of this gang takes one to a back alley and rapes her.  Her screams can be heard but the Punisher ignores them and goes about his business.  Then some kid shows up and the gang starts harassing him and begins to beat him up.  Punisher ignores this and goes to a convenient store where he meets Ron Pearlman in a wheelchair.  They have a discussion about bad things going on around them.  We learn that the Punisher isn't the Punisher anymore he has quit the Punishing business.  "Six months sober," he says.  But unable to stand it anymore the Punisher becomes the Punisher once again by buying a bottle of Wild Turkey Whiskey.  Then he heads out to the street where he proceeds to beat to death all the punks with his newly purchased alcohol beverage.  The Punisher is back!  Sort of....

Did I like it?  Yes and no.  I like Thomas Jane but to me Ray Stevenson is THE PUNISHER.  Thomas Jane looks like Thomas Jane.  Ray isn't as big of a star so he better fits the role.  It is easier to imagine a "no name" rather than a big star.  Stardom has a tendency to overshadow the character making the film more about the actor.  See every Tom Cruise movie ever made for example.  DIRTY LAUNDRY asks and answers rather nicely the question "What is the difference between punishment and justice?"  I won't spoil that part of the film.  There is some depth to this short.  The movie starts off slow and I began to lose interest immediately but I stuck with it for the uber-violent finale.  The violence is bloody and excessive which is a good thing.  That is what we want to see.  Bones are broke with ease protruding from the skin.  Brains are blown again the wall in C.G.I. fashion but it still good.  Overall a nice ending.

But the whole film feels awkward like Thomas Janes' THE PUNISHER.  I just don't see Jane as THE PUNISHER.  There is too much talk and I don't believe that the Punisher would be retired.  Does this short take place six months after the movie where he said he would spend his life punishing the wicked?  Or has he been killing for awhile and just decided to quit?  Why?  It is kind of hard for me to accept that the Punisher would allow a woman to be raped and do nothing about it.  I don't think he would stand back for two seconds while some kid was about to get wasted either.  I don't care if he is retired.  There is one bad part during the fight where the lead hoodie has a gun on the Punisher and the kid jumps on his leg saving the Punisher from certain death.  The Punisher was saved by some brat?  That doesn't sound like the Punisher I know.  I don't know.  This whole short film feels like a step back in the wrong direction.

I think it is kind of cool that Thomas Jane has put so much effort into generating interest in a new Punisher film. (Starring him of course)  Problem is I want another Ray Stevenson Punisher.  I get sick and tired of people saying they haven't made a Punisher film that has gotten it right.  That is a bunch of bull.  WAR ZONE did it right.  It did it perfectly.  If you can't see that then you don't know the Punisher.

I will admit that while I admire Jane for going out of his way to try and make another Punisher film happen I do get a weird creepy vibe from this whole production.  It reminds me of Sean Young when she wanted to be Catwoman in BATMAN RETURNS.  She showed up on a talk show dressed like Catwoman and played in character.  I heard she showed up to parties that Tim Burton was attending dressed like the Cat trying to get his attention.  Weird.  I am not going to say that Thomas Jane is that weird but I can't help but think of Sean Young when I watch this short.  DIRTY LAUNDRY is a good effort and a nice companion to Thomas Janes' heavily flawed Punisher film.  I just hope beyond reason that this ignites interest in another Ray Stevenson Punisher film.  Hopefully we get the same director from WAR ZONE too.  Not bloody likely but a nerd can dream, can't he?

BTW I do understand that by over analyzing a fan short film that I have to turn in my "Not A Virgin Anymore" card rendering me back down to "I'm A Virgin" status.  Whoops.  It was totally worth it......I think.

Jason

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES underwhelms......

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES aims to be RETURN OF THE KING with its grand scale visuals and big battle in the streets with an army of cops charging an army of crooks.   The story heads to an epic conclusion for the Batman.  Things are going to end either good or badly.  But ultimately it slips a bit with its story execution and surprisingly lackluster direction.  I expected a near perfect film with the mistakes from the past  ironed out.  But, no.  There actually seems to be even more.  DKR isn't a bad movie.  It isn't a major disappointment.  But it could have been so much better.  It's strange to see such a big movie with great talent behind and in front of the camera flounder and mostly miss the emotional beats of the film.  This one mostly misses the mark.  Mostly.

The story involves Batman fighting to save Gotham from Bane and his devoted mercenaries.  There are good character moments throughout the film that keep DKR from crashing and burning into Van Helsing craptacularness territory.  Gordon is really good dealing with the conflict of having to praise Harvey Dent the guy who almost killed his son just to give Gotham their hero.  It's a small part of the story but it adds significant weight to a way over the top exaggerated plot.  Anne Hathaway as Catwoman was surprisingly great and one of the best additions to this Batman Trilogy.  Her scenes stand out from all the rest and I kind of wish she was in the previous instalments of this franchise.  She makes everything better and it is kind of cool watching her fight side by side with Batman.  Bane is a large scary beast.  He presents Batman with his most menacing foe ever.  Joesph Gordon Levitt is always good in everything he does.  This movie is no exception.  I like Christian Bale as Batman and he has some good drama with Michael Caine.  THE DARK KNIGHT RISES takes some good character risks and breaks the mold for how a Batman movie should end.  There is a lot to like.  But there is a lot to dislike too.  Alot!

First Batman's voice still sucks.  That hasn't changed and neither has his lisp.  Instead of saying "citizen" he says "citi-shin".  Yikes.  Bane's voice kind of suckolas too.  He sounds like Sean Connery.  I swear if Sean Connery was possessed by the Devil it would sound like Bane.  It's kind of off putting and it makes it hard to tell what he is saying most of the time.  Its almost comical and out of place.  I noticed in THE DARK KNIGHT that there were times that it was hard to hear what everyone was saying.  It would be small moments but they happened every now and then.  In THE DARK KNIGHT RISES that happens in almost every scene especially if Bane is present.  For the most part those kind of flaws don't really bother me.  It is easy for me to forgive.  You have to be very forgiving if you are a horror fan.  My biggest problem with this movie is how tepid and mediocre almost every scene is.  There are not too many memorable scenes in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.  The fights between Bane and Batman are unimpressive.  None of the punches seem to have any impact on the audience.  Watch THE RAID.  Every punch, kick and slam is so visually compelling that you can almost feel the impact.  That is not the case in DKR.  But its not just those fight scenes.  Catwoman kicks some butt too big time but the choreography is slow despite her being so quick.  No one seems to get hurt.  Yeah, the bad guys fall down and don't get back up but you never feel like they just got their butts kicked.  Oh, well at least you can tell what is going on.  Gone are the days of the BATMAN BEGINS shaky blurry whooshy cam.

From the very beginning of the film where Bane appears on a plane faking the death of a doctor and killing a bunch of C.I.A. guys to about half way through the film there is this unshakable blandness to everything that is happening on screen.  Only on occasion do you feel emotionally tied to what is going on.  The thrills never thrill.  The fights never impress.  Things do get better despite the strange plot of Bane taking over the city trapping Gotham's police force underground for three months.  I like the way the movie ends.  I know the nerdo's out there will be pissed with that and some of the representations of the comic book villains.  Come on, guys.  A movie is limited with a run time.  It can't spend years and years establishing long story arches and character motivations like comic books can with unlimited issues that never fully end their stories.

It took awhile but I did end up enjoying THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.  It has strange problems but it does get better.  I would have like to see more Batman in this Batman movie.  He doesn't use enough gadgets and he barely does his whole detective thing.  He does fly around in a U.F.O. which is pretty cool but it kind of reminds me of a flying Transformer or something.  The ending is good I just wish the rest of the movie matched it's level of awesomeness.  Maybe if I watch it a second time I will like it more.  But I doubt it.

Jason