THE LAST STAND.....A very violent car comercial?

What a great time it is to be an action movie fan.  It is also kind of a weird time as well.  Who would have ever imagined that Arnold Schwarzenegger's return to the big screen in a staring role would be a modern day western directed by one of the greatest directors to come out of Korea, Kim Jee-Woon.  If you haven't seen THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE WEIRD, I SAW THE DEVIL or A TALE OF TWO SISTERS then you are missing out.  The action movie hero torch was never successfully passed to a new generation.  I know we saw an attempt with the Rock in THE RUNDOWN but he kind of fumbled it with crap like DOOM and (sigh) THE TOOTH FAIRY along with even more forgettable crap.  FASTER was his best but it's too little too late.  Thankfully Scott Adkins was there to catch the fumble and with the help of director Isaac Florentine was able to bring about a direct-to-video resurgence of truly great action films like NINJA and UNDISPUTED 2 and 3.  But it looks like 2013 is the return of the old guys.  We have THE LAST STAND with Arnold, followed by BULLET TO THE HEAD with Stallone and finally DIE HARD part 5 with the ever charming Bruce 'freakin' Willis.  All three are released in the first two months of 2013.  Hurray!  To say the least I was really excited to see THE LAST STAND.  I even got my picture with the poster.  Look at how happy I am.  That's probably the biggest smile you are going to get out of me.  That poster was across the street by the way.  It was huge.  I am standing on the second floor of a parking garage.

THE LAST STAND is about an aging sheriff who realizes that he and his few deputies are the only ones able to stop a recently escaped drug lord (and part time race car driver) from crossing the border in a super fast Corvette.  The movie as a whole is pretty darn good.  Its not the greatest action movie in the world but it manages to be unique with its crisp dry cinematography and breezy camera movement.  Arnold is showing his age but still maintains a strong screen persona.  Its comes from his stone cold glare that has been missed from the big screen for so long.  Forrest Whitaker is really good in this too playing an agent who is really really pissed off all the time.  I guess I would be too if I let the most dangerous man in my custody get away.  There is a good amount of warmth in this film coming from the cast.  Arnold is the nice sheriff with a bloody past.  He knows what is about to come his way.  His deputies are bored with the quiet life getting themselves in trouble with their sheriff goofing around with Knoxville who they have to deputize out of desperation to use his guns to fight the baddies at the end.  The supporting cast are usually the comic relief and they do a great job especially Luis Guzman.  Is Guzman ever bad in anything he does?  I don't think so.

Actionwise the film has some car chase stuff that at times feels like a high price car commercial debuting during the Super Bowl.  Its not bad or anything but I couldn't help but think that everything looked a little too sleek and polished like a car commercial.  I almost expected little words to appear at the bottom stating that this was a professional driver on a closed course.  That all changes when the car runs into Arnold.  There is a pretty cool showdown in the middle of the sheriff's small town with our lead hero showing up in the time to bring out the big guns to blast a few baddies ending with another car chase and a fist fight on the bridge.  Not a whole lot but maybe I was just too spoiled with THE EXPENDABLES 2 which had a body count of like a billion.  Even though the action scenes were nothing too spectacular they were at least pretty bloody.  Gone is the big special effects heavy watered down PG-13 style of action that was so prevalent in the 90s.

Arnold is one of those actors that was so large in physical size that the film had to fit around him.  That really isn't the case with THE LAST STAND.  He is still bigger than most but now the movie has to accommodate his age.  It works in his favor though.  I like older badasses than younger ones.  The older look like they have more experience and wisdom.  I always preferred John Wayne over the younger Clint Eastwood.  THE LAST STAND still has at least one past Arnold movie reference with a sword that looked like Conan's and they still give him a couple of one liners that kind of fall flat.  Hey, at least they didn't make him say "I'm back" or some self referential crap that they always do to him.

I hope that Arnold spends his time wisely making harder edge character driven films.  We don't need anymore JUNIORs or JINGLE ALL THE WAYs.  I really don't want to see him return to his past series either like TERMINATOR or the CONANs.  THE LAST STAND is a step in the right direction.  Even though its not perfect this modern day western is at least a return to the more violent and gritty Arnold that made him the ultimate badass of the 80's.  Bravo.  I want more.


Jason

EXPENDABLES 2 IS THE BEST MOVIE OF 2012!!!....Prob-Probably.

I realize that I had some pretty low expectations for EXPENDABLES 2 so maybe this movie isn't as great as I think it is.  Maybe after a few more hundred viewings I will see the flaws and missed opportunities that usually come with an expensive high dollar action movie boasting such a wonderful cast.  Just to be safe I lowered the amount of exclamation points at the end of my title to this blog entry to just three instead of ten.  This movie does have a strange small controversy surrounding the original rating for the film.  Stallone himself did say that this was going to be a PG-13 style film but that Van Damme's performance was so awesome that no one would care.  That statement was later denied completely and pretended by Stallone himself to have never been said reassuring us that this was going to be an uncompromising violent film pushing the R rating.  I took that as they filmed for a PG-13 but panicked after nerd backlash (myself included) and pushed for R.  Thank goodness you can C.G.I. blood easily onto digitally filmed movies.  With all that said I can say that EXPENDABLES 2 was blast-tastic.  It was a bloody good time.  It was an action movie fans dream come true.  I really thought the whole movie was really really neat.


EXPENDABLES 2 is about Stallone's crew on the hunt for Van Damme and his personal military force known as the Sang.  What was originally a short mission retrieving plans from a crashed plane quickly turns personal when one of their own dies at the hands (or should I say feet, ha-ha?) of Van Damme.  After watching the trailers I was pretty sure I knew how this film story wise would play out.  I knew who would die and why there was a woman now a part of the crew.  Well thankfully EXPENDABLES 2 threw me a curve ball.  I was wrong.  Way wrong which in this case was a good thing.  The movie is a little unpredictable slightly in that respect.  Most of the time you can call it before it happens.  But that's no big deal.  They try to give you a little surprise at the beginning but you can see it coming a mile away.  But maybe that is just me.  Maybe I watch way too many movies gaining way too much knowledge on how films play on audiences expectations.  Maybe I should stop writing this nonsensical review and go outside and live life to it's fullest..........But there are spiders outside so on I go with this way too positive review.

This movie moves quickly.  In my head I remember it being one extremely long action sequence.  Really though there are some quiet moments here and there to reflect a little on these characters personalities.  The action is filmed fast and sometimes it looks really good but then other times because so much is going on at once it is kind of hard to tell who is doing what to who.  Once I thought I was watching Randy Couture beat the crap out of some guy in heavy shadow but it turned out once the fight moved into daylight that I was actually watching Terry Crewes.  The two were wearing the same hat making their dark silhouettes almost identical.  Overall though all the action scenes were great even if the majority of them were filmed in basic American Acton Movie Style.  Meaning we get shots of good guys firing guns cutting to reaction shots of bad guys who have a strange aversion to taking cover falling down dead.  At least the body count is high.  Very high.  Like probably in the hundreds high.  That's a good action movie, folks.  There are some moments where I think that they really were aiming for a PG-13.  There isn't that much blood for one thing.  It looks like it was all added in post which the first one was but you don't have a lot of guys getting blown into pieces or major decapitations by big knives and such.  At one point Jet Li grabs two frying pans and starts fighting a few guys because he lost his weapons or whatever.  Its a good moment yet I was reminded of TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 2: SECRET OF THE OOZE where the Turtles stopped using their weapons and started fighting with yo-yo's and other stupid toys to try and appeal to the too stupid to know what TMNT is all about demographic.  EXPENDABLES 2 doesn't go that crazy but it just made me wonder what they were originally shooting for.

Its really cool to see Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis and Chuck Norris fighting side by side.  Their appearances are a little more than simple one scene cameos.  Seeing these guys together is the best thing about this movie.  It is a moment that deserves some reflection.  Who would have ever thought such a movie could be made?  It is kind of a dangerous thing.  I am surprised the universe didn't implode somehow at the epic oddity of Chuck Norris saying a "CHUCK NORRIS FACT".  Just be careful, EXPENDABLES 2 is all I am saying.  I was afraid his acting would suck or be not as good as the others but Norris did a good job.  As soon as Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Willis are together the movie can't resist but start throwing out their classic one liners back and forth.  Thankfully the movie doesn't descend too far into the tongue-in-cheek territory.  They seem to do it to make fun of themselves and their past persona's.  I guess EXPENDABLES 2 isn't just an action movie but a post-modern action movie similar to ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST.  It is an action movie about these guys' past action movies.  That is kind of cool when you think about it.  Another bad thing about getting these three guys together is that the rest of the Expendables take a backseat to the film's focus.  Suddenly at the end the movie seems to be more about them than the core crew of the Expendables.  Yes, even Dolph Lundgren takes a backseat.  Speaking of Dolph I am so glad to see that he is in the entire film.  He is a lot of fun and I would have liked to see more of his interaction with Jet Li.  These two have a unique chemistry together.  I hope they explore it more in EXPENDABLES 3: NOW WE ARE JUST PUSHING IT.  I just hope in the next one if there is one that Segal at least makes an appearance and they bring back Scott Adkins as another character to represent the future of action stars. It is neat to see Adkins and his mentor Van Damme together fighting side by side.

I like that there is a solemn attitude towards death in this film even if it is highly hypocritical.  These guys encountered all kinds of horrors in battle and you can see it on their faces as they reflect on there past when Chris Hemsworth (who plays a young sniper new to the team) starts talking about his past experiences in the Afghanistan war.  Yet the Expendables have smiles on their faces and cracking jokes as they gun down hundreds of bad guys.  Gee, it sure looks like war is fun to them.  Why so glum, chum?  I think having this attitude or acknowledgement of the consequences of violence keeps the movie from becoming a light hearted action comedy.  We don't want another DOUBLE TEAM on our hands here.

For me EXPENDABLES 2 was better than the first one.  I was surprised, excited and relieved that the whole film didn't seem like a watered down bland mess.  It was a near perfect action movie accomplishing what it set out to do.  You can include this one in your conversation as to what are the greatest action movies of all time are.  This one belongs somewhere in the top ten.  Bring on BULLET TO THE HEAD and THE LAST STAND.


BTW:  Second best thing about EXPENDABLES 2?  No SHINEDOWN song to cast a stain on the whole film.


Jason

The Expendables. Rambo, Commando, Die Hard vs. ERIC ROBERTS!?!

Oh, man.  You got to feel sorry for poor Eric Roberts.  You know its going to end very badly for that poor bastard.  It is a surreal experience to watch some of the best action stars from the eighties interacting with one another in the same film.  This movie has just about everybody. Rambo is the main star with Commando and Die Hard making a cameo near the beginning.  Rambo has the Transporter, Danny the Dog, and Red Scorpion working on his team of mercenaries with some UFC fighter and the big black guy that likes to beat up wetness and odor to the extreme in those Old Spice commercials.  Lets just say that he blows the crap-ola out of wetness and odor in this film along with a lot of body parts that have been known to cause such.  I do wish Steven Seagal and Van Damme were in it too but you can't have everything in life.

This movie never gets dull.  The Expendables is a simple men on a mission story.  Stallone is given a mission that even Commando would not accept.  But the movie focuses more on the characters than the mission itself.  Its full of car chases and explosions to keep everyone interested for the entire film.  Everyone puts in a great performance with a lot of great lines that aren't necessarily one liners.  I don't remember too many "I'll be back" or "Stick around" moments. Its just funny, clever dialogue.  Not all the lines are good though. Die Hard has one moment where he threatens Rambo by telling him he is going to "chop him up into little doggy treats."  Not a very intimidating to the guy whose mom will shoot you if you don't stop.  I'm just saying

I know a lot of critics will dismiss this film as nothing more than a big, dumb, action movie. There will be a lot of talk about testosterone and no brains but.they are so wrong. I know movies like this where men are men intimidate the hell out of critics.  They can not relate to such characters.  There is nothing dumb about men with no cause realizing there is something to fight and die for. That is what this story is about.  I know that is what happens in all these movies, but so what?  Its better than some movie about walking and talking that wins the Academy Award for Best Picture.  I'm looking at you American Beauty!  Some of Stallone's partners are different stages of the psyche of men who fight in wars all their life.  Mickey Rourke is part of the Expendables as the guy who sets up work for Stallone's men.  He was once a fighter too but he stopped because he was losing his human compassion.  Now he paints, tattoos and bangs chicks all day long.  Dolph is losing his sanity.  He enjoys killing too much.  The Expendables have a respect for the dead.  Crazy ol' Dolph likes blowing people in half and desecrating the dead for fun.  Yeah, they kick him off the team.  He is actually the most interesting character in my opinion.  Especially his relationship with Stallone.  Everyone on the team seems to be close friends.  They aren't just a bunch of pricks with guns who bicker to show they are pricks and determine in what order each one of them are going to die in just like in any other low grade wannabe action film.  These guys are likable. So it is interesting to see that when Dolph's character goes rogue and tries to kill everybody that Stallone is trying to save him.  Stallone doesn't want to end up like that.  After scouting out the target at the island of Vilenna Stallone decides it is too dangerous.  His woman guide is put in danger but instead of leaving when she has the chance she stays.  This affects Stallone's character. He doesn't understand why she did that. She is more courageous than he.  He and his team go back to start all kinds of hell just because it is the right thing to do.  I think that Eric Roberts represents the kind of villain Stallone's character could have become if he stayed in his "only for the money" kind of ways. Or maybe I just think I am really smart and read too much into things. You decide.

Jet Li kind of gets his butt kicked some in this movie.  He doesn't do so well against Crazy Ol' Dolph.  He wants a bigger share because he is so little.  Bullet holes are bigger on him because he is so little. Hilarious.  But there is one moment where he is with Stallone talking about his problems when a bunch of bad dudes show up in cars and try to kill them.  I kind of think this is the most badass moment in the film.  There is a quick shot of Jet Li shooting at his attackers with this stone cold killer stare. I know he is just and actor and he is really small but based on that stare I wouldn't mess with the guy.  Lets just say I am convinced he could kill somebody in real life with no problem.  Now that's what I call great acting.

I do have one gripe though. (Oh, here it comes)  While there is tons of fighting and blood in this movie (you know the good stuff you go to see a movie like this for)  its all filmed frantically with more  close ups and shaky cams than you can shake a cam at.  Its like The Expendables is paying homage to the Transformers movies.  This is so ironic to me.  Here we have the great eighties action stars in a great eighties style action flick but with modern effects to show a bunch of blood and heads exploding filmed like a Michael Bay film.  Stallone decides to film most of it with close-ups, shaky-cam, quick cuts and camera jerks.  This can't be.  Good luck telling what is going on half the time.  This isn't a freakin music video.  If it wasn't for that crazy zippity-doo-da style of filming action I would have said this is a perfect film. But I just can't.

Other than that I love this movie.  I think it maybe the best film of the year for me.  The Expendables is not as predictable as you would think  There are a few surprises in this movie.  I actually expected the middle to be kind of slow. Can you believe that! How stupid am I?  But instead there is a very impressive escape in the middle of the film which could easily be the climax of any other action movie. But it isn't.  There is still more kick-butt destruction still to come.  Its great to see everyone kill in their own style.  Statham and Li like stabbing and kicking people.  If they stab or shoot anybody you know they are going to kick them too for no reason.  Did they really need to double team Gary Daniels (He is kind of a taller Ray Parks)? The UFC guy likes to do his UFC  grabs and slams.  The rest just like to shoot people.  There is a lot of shooting in this movie so watch out.  Every now and then you may have to duck under your seat to avoid the stray bullets coming off the screen. 

Go see it so we can get a sequel fast tracked!

Jason