THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE

There will be some mild spoilers.  If you haven't seen this movie then make it your duty to do so this and every Halloween.

Dr. Barret his wife and two psychics are tasked to find proof of the afterlife in an old mansion with a deadly reputation during the week of Christmas.  That's right, folks.  This here is a Christmas movie.  The doctor wants to use this opportunity to prove that random psychic energy is to blame for paranormal happenings and not intelligent beings existing just slightly beyond the reach of the living.  He has disagreements that get a bit heated towards the end with the lady psychic Florence Tanner to the point she tries to bash his energy eliminator machine on the off chance that he may be right.  You have two thoughts on the subject of ghosts and they butt heads with each other from time to time.  Both acknowledge the paranormal but one views it in strict scientific terms of energy while the other leans to the spiritual.


THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE is in my opinion one of the scariest films ever made.  The film stirs the imagination with its bleak gloomy atmosphere, foreboding dark mansion and giant black cat that doesn't seem to want to stay dead.  There really is no need for special effects.  The movie lets your mind do all the work.  I love the idea of two opposing views challenging one another as the group tries to figure out how this home is so haunted.  The movie follows the #1 rule for a really good horror movie and that is 'Anyone can die at anytime.'  The movie is quiet and solemn luring the audience into a guarded calm that is suddenly shattered when something frightful happens.

Roddy McDowall's character had actually been in the house before being the only survivor of a group investigating the house years before.  He keeps a reserved demeanor protecting himself from the psychic energy that is all around him.  He comes to life though almost stealing the show when he discovers what is really going on.  I love how he figures out that both the doctor and Tanner were right.  He challenges the entity exposing it for the small man that is truly behind all the horrors of the house.  It is almost like the Wizard behind the curtain in THE WIZARD OF OZ.  The large foreboding house and all of it's ghastly fame comes from the insecurity of a small vain dead man.

On Halloween night if you are looking for a scary double feature I would recommend watching this one side by side with the original THE HAUNTING.  There is a good story to think about with a solid conclusion.  Just don't think too long about it.  This one may give you nightmares.

Jason

LAMBERTO BAVA'S DEMONS

I am not the biggest fan of Italian horror films.  I do recognize their influence on modern cinema today but I find so many of them to be either redundant ripoffs of other films or they flat out don't make any sense whatsoever.  Often these horror films are appreciated for their atmosphere or shock value.  The story doesn't seem to matter.  I kind of like things to make sense in the movies I watch for the most part.  DEMONS directed by Lamberto Bava and produced by Dario Argento is one of the good ones even if some of it doesn't make sense.

The story is about a young college student, Cheryl who accepts a free movie pass to a new theater called the Metropol from a strange man who wears a metal mask that covers half his face.  It is important to note that the actor playing the strange man is Michele Soavi who was also the film's assistant director and would later go on to direct one of the greatest zombie movies ever made, DELLAMORTE, DELLAMORE or CEMETERY MAN.  She and her friend go to the movie which turns out to be a horror movie about some young people discovering a mask that turns one of them into a demon possessed killer.  The mask in the movie happens to look like the mask on display in the theater lobby.  A pimp (played by the always awesome Bobby Rhodes) comes to the movie with two of his ladies and one of them gets cut when she puts the mask on playfully.  Like in the movie they are watching she becomes a monster and goes around killing other movie goers which makes the victims turn into more monsters.  The whole movie becomes a survival horror situation as the theater patrons try to escape the demons that keep growing in numbers.

The story seems simple enough but if you are paying attention, the film gives you clues as to something much bigger going on.  It took me a couple of watches to notice one of the actors in the movie playing in the theater is actually the creepy guy handing out the free tickets.  What does that mean?  Are we watching a moment from the past explaining how the mask in the lobby got there?  What about the strange room to nowhere that is discovered when everyone was trapped on the balcony pounding on the walls to catch the outside world's attention?  Is the Metropol the old building depicted on the big screen where the mask was found?  Who reopened the old theater and set up this free screening anyway?  The characters in the movie are too busy trying to not get their faces ripped off to try and find out for us.  DEMONS gives no answers but just enough to connect some of the dots.  Perhaps there are no answers just like in a nightmare.  Things just are what they are.

The strong visuals, colors and lighting give DEMONS a nightmare look like as if you were watching someone's actual dream rather than just another horror movie.  Sometimes whole scenes are bathed in one color including blue, red or yellow adding to the dreamlike atmosphere.  Every camera angle is perfect and inspired.  The director knows how to evoke the audiences' imagination with his camera.  Often I wondered what was waiting around the next corner for our heroes simply because of how the camera was stationed.  So many iconic moments are captured making sure DEMONS is not a film soon forgotten.  Just look at the movie poster!  The rock soundtrack generates a sense of anarchy throughout the film which plays well into the extremely satisfying climatic finale.  Argento's films have a tendency to inappropriately break into eighties big hair rock music (aka "Butt-Rock") for no reason (See PHENOMENA) but here it is done just right and fits perfectly into the spirit of the film.

DEMONS created a formula that was copied a few more times for the sequels.  The follow up films failed to generate the rich atmosphere and scares the original did.  Nothing new conceptually was ever added except for the locations the story took place.  They were merely copy cats that re-staged moments from the first film with disappointing results.  The freshness was gone.  Still they can't sour the awesomeness that the original DEMONS has brought to our eyes.  If you haven't seen it then by all means go out and get it before the inevitable demon apocalypse descends upon us and turns us all into goo spewing wicked abominations.  How about that ending credit sequence?

Jason

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 3: THE HANGMAN'S DAUGHTER

Out of the three FROM DUSK TILL DAWN films HANGMAN'S DAUGHTER is my least favorite.  That should come as some surprise to those who know me because I love the concept of a vampire western and part 3 takes that concept literally.  HANGMAN'S DAUGHTER is a prequel to the first film with the setting in the late 1800's or early 1900's when real westerns take place.  I have two big issues with part 3.  The first is that the story is more of a repeat of the first film with it starting out like a real western and ending as a horror movie.  Say what you will about TEXAS BLOOD MONEY at least it was an original story.  How many movies are out there about vampires robbing a bank?  None as far as I know.  My second problem is with how weird and uncomfortable the film gets when the vampire carnage begins.  This movie gets weird, folks and I mean not in a good way.

Ambrose Bierce is a writer and former solider looking for Pancho Villa  to help with the Mexican Revolution.  Johnny Madrid is an outlaw who has just escaped the Hangman and has taken his daughter, Esmeralda as a willing hostage.  After Johnny and his gang rob Ambrose's stage coach and leave him out in the middle of nowhere with two missionaries he finds a bar and brothel out in the middle of the desert.  Johnny and his bandits also find the bar along with the Hangman and his posse looking for him and his daughter, Esmeralda.  Esmeralda discovers that she has a strange connection to the bar.  Of course we all know the bar is run by vampires.  As the vampires attack, the survivors escape by wandering aimlessly in the back tunnels of the bar until they magically end up where they first started so the movie can be over soon.  Yeah, you can kind of tell they didn't know exactly how to bring the characters back full circle to reach the climax of the movie.

There is a lot to like in HANGMAN'S DAUGHTER.  The cast is strong with Michael Parks as the often drunk Ambrose Bierce and Marco Leonardi as the cutthroat with a sense of skewed morals Johnny Madrid.  These two are the film's foundation.  There are some great moments too that you wouldn't find in any other movie.  For instance the stage coach robbery scene is a standout simply because the coach's drivers are a mute and a blind man.  The two work together as one to fight off with desperadoes the best they can with the mute driving and the blind man using his sense of hearing to shoot.  I also like the idea of Ambrose being haunted by his future death.  The movie starts off with a dream sequence showing Bierce getting shot from a firing squad.  Throughout the film he is haunted by strange visions of that moment.  At least I think his future death is being foretold.  What the heck do I know.

With all the great moments, bats on strings fun and red and green goo thrown about the movie still somehow manages to screw things up with the vampires.  In particular the head mistress of the bar/brothel.  The camera lingers way too long on her as if we are suppose to find her extremely seductive and sexual.  I hate to say it.  She isn't.  There is nothing worse than a movie trying to pass someone off as "hot" when they clearly are not.  Anyone see CLERKS 2?  She has this tendency to lick blood from time to time and at one point regurgitates blood so another vampire can taste it.  It makes for some uncomfortable watching.  Too much tongue action.  The first thing the head mistress does when she meets Esmeralda is lick the wounds on her back.  Really?  How is that for a 'Hello'?  She really doesn't pose much of a threat.  She just looms about making everything weird for everyone.  The head mistress turns Esmeralda into Santanico Pandemonium with some bizarre ritual at the end of the movie that involves a naked vampire grandma.  We get to see grandma's "down there parts" if you know what I mean.  Another thing to mention is how do vampires age?  I thought it was implied that vampires never age since Danny Trejo is back playing the same character he played in the first FROM DUSK TILL DAWN.  Maybe she was a grandma when she turned but I doubt it.  Oh, well.  Who cares?

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 3: HANGMAN'S DAUGHTER has many things that work in it's favor.  It is a somewhat creative film with some strong characters and violence.  There is enough here to entertain.  The problem is that the few problems the movie does have hurts the overall feel of the movie.  In the end we really didn't need to see the story of how Santanico Pandemonium came to be head B-Word of the Titty Twister.  Still like part 2, HANGMAN"S DAUGHTER is a mostly enjoyable monster movie even if it is not nearly as good as the first one.

Jason

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY probably should have just been titled TEXAS BLOOD MONEY.  I think that way no one could compare it with ridicule to the far superior FROM DUSK TILL DAWN.  If it wasn't for being a sequel, I think TEXAS would be more accepted as the fun bloody romp this horror film sets out to be.  The production value of the sequel is a bit crude compared to the original which can be a huge turn off to those who think special effects have to look immaculately realistic no matter what.  Good luck finding that in the horror genre.  TEXAS stands on its own merit by itself despite the painfully bad computer effects.

Robert Patrick is awesome.  We cannot get enough Robert Patrick in our lives.  We never really get to see him in a badass lead role.  TEXAS was wise to cast Mr. Patrick as Buck the film's cool tough guy bank robber lead.  Mr. Patrick doesn't miss a beat and makes the most of the unique opportunity given to him.  Even though he is a thief he is very likable.  Not a violent man he does his best to protect his pals when all Hell breaks loose.  He and his fellow bad guys rob a bank in Mexico but one of them has become a vampire.  Throughout the robbery one by one Buck's crew fall victim to the vampire and become one of the undead themselves.  Outside the police have surrounded the bank making escape for Buck almost impossible.  The premise of the movie is thrilling when you think about it.  It screams B-Movie fun.  Fun is what you should have when watching it.

Danny Trejo and the infamous Titty Twister bar return to confound the audience but I wasn't left confused.  I don't think Trejo's character is suppose to be the same guy in the the first one nor is the new Titty Twister the same bar.  I could be wrong though.  I didn't write the bloody thing.

I know TEXAS is not a perfect film but I appreciate what it is trying to do.  There is some respect for classic westerns integrated into the look of the film.  There is a big nod to Sam Peckinpah's greatest work THE WILD BUNCH.   At the end the death march from the classic western's finale is re staged at the end of TEXAS with Buck teaming up with a Texas sheriff played by Bo Hopkins (Who was actually one of the Wild Bunch!) to face off with Buck's former bandits now turned greedy bloodsuckers.  It is a great little moment that few seem to notice and when I say "few" I mean none.

I find there is a lot to like in this movie.  Some of the dialogue is cool and original and some of the camera angles are strange and disorienting giving the impression that you are watching EVIL DEAD 2 instead of a FROM DUSK TILL DAWN sequel.  I guess that is because the director of TEXAS is Scott Spiegel who helped write EVIL DEAD 2.  There is a weird angle that is what I call Vampire Tongue P.O.V. as it bites down on a person's neck.  From inside the mouth you see fangs sink into the neck with blood freely flowing out.  No one has seen that point of view before.  Watch it for yourself and see if you find TEXAS BLOOD MONEY abhorrent like most do or a quirky fun bank heist gone way wrong western.  I feel that TEXAS BLOOD MONEY deserves more than a pathetic 3.9 rating on the IMDB.  I shudder to think what it was rated on Rotten Tomatoes.  All I can say is that FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY is BAT POOP crazy.  Whether that is a good thing or not is up to you.  I apparently just happen to like bat poop.

Also I like how at the end this modern day vampire western the survivors question why vampires would rob a bank as if to let the audience know that the makers recognize the silly premise the film presents.  Clever.

Jason

THE DEAD HATE THE LIVING

THE DEAD HATE THE LIVING is probably the best title for a zombie movie ever.  This low budget nod to Italian zombie movies is a fun creative exercise into the genre that also expresses a love for the making of horror movies as well.  I think it is one of the better zombie films ever made and deserves a little more recognition.

Some young twenty-somethings are trying to film a zombie movie in an abandoned hospital.  They discover a strange evil looking Coffin-machine-thingy in the basement complete with a dead body of some guy who looks like he really really loved Rob Zombie.  Figuring that it would make a great prop David the director incorporates the machine into the movie.  They turn the machine on while filming which brings the dead body back to life as well as a few other zombies which go out and seek all the crew members.  The survivors discover that the hospital is in some kind of purgatory with an army of undead surrounding the entire building.  Now those who survived have to figure what is happening, how to survive and make things normal again.

Even though THE DEAD HATE THE LIVING is all about zombies and death the cast is rather lively with memorable likable characters.  Special kudos goes to the characters David the director and Paul the Special Effects artist who regularly talk about horror movie actors like David Warbeck, Bruce Campbell and Dick Miller throughout the film.  In fact there are all kinds of nods and winks if you pay attention.  Did I see the puzzle box thingy from HELLRAISER?  Is that STAB movie poster torn in half because there is a half torn THE HILLS HAVE EYES poster looming in the background in EVIL DEAD?  Are the makers of THE DEAD HATE THE LIVING telling the audience that their film is twice as scary as a film that doesn't exist?  What does that mean?  Was that guy in the convenience store reading Fangoria?  I like references to other horror movies in my horror movies as long as they don't over do it.  The ending itself is a cute little homage to THE BEYOND.

The creative level of this film is extremely high.  The dialogue for the most part is very clever and funny when it wants to be.  The film moves quickly never leaving a dull moment to be bored by which is an amazing feat for a movie like this.  The designs of the main zombies are iconic and leave a lasting impression.  The zombie on the poster shows the higher standard in their design.  Very unique.  They are more like monsters than usual standard of slow moving zombies even though those kinds of undead are present as well.  It is a nice mixture.  When a zombie actor dies and is brought back his look has the visual characteristics of the zombie make up that was applied when they were alive.  If a zombie actor had makeup that made it look like he had an exposed brain then when he becomes a zombie he really has an exposed brain.  I thought that was funny.  There is just more thought put into every aspect of this film and we are given a lot to look at and appreciate.

Being that this is a horror film and on a low budget there is of course some things you are just going to have to forgive.  Thankfully those moments are few and far between.  I think there are some plot holes concerning the overall predicament our renegade filmmakers find themselves in.  At the beginning of the movie we see the Rob Zombie lookalike talking into a camera and he is then killed by a rather large zombie.  When our heroes are in the hospital there are no zombies anywhere.  Where did they go?  Did they put the Rob Zombie guy into the Coffin machine thingy?  There is a great little moment when an actor dressed like a zombie is killed by a real zombie.  At first the real zombie is confused but then he sniffs the actor and can tell he is alive by the way he smells.  Later David and Paul put on zombie makeup to fool a small crowd of zombies without being detected.  Its a cool moment but I couldn't help but wonder why the other zombies can't just smell the two not dead guys like the other zombie.  Also there is a bad CGI fire effect at the film's climax that the camera doesn't even try to shy away from.  The cartoon flames don't ruin the film or anything it is just a small moment that is out of place with the excellent practical effects the movie mostly consists of.

I am not sure why David and Paul think David Warbeck is such a great zombie killer.  I saw THE BEYOND.  Warbeck's character kills like maybe five zombies at the end of that movie.  Those zombies inched at them slowly.  Being that Warbeck is in an Italian zombie movie he is required to waste a few of his limited shots into the torsos of the undead before shooting them in the head even though he knows that shooting them in the head is the only way of killing them.

From the overall atmosphere, to the spirited characters and monster designs THE DEAD HATE THE LIVING gives you a lot to look at.  The dead may hate the living but those who love zombie movies and try to watch every single one should find nothing to hate in this overlooked blood and guts zombie opus.

Jason

NEON MANIACS! We want a sequel!...Or at least I do.

After being the only survivor of an attack by a group of crazy costumed zombie/monsters at a park near the Golden Gate Bridge, Natalie tries to get back to her normal life as a high school student.  The problem is that the police do not believe her account of what happened and the parents her newly dead friends want to know where their missing loved ones are.  Thankfully Steve Guttenberg and Paul Rudd had a child together and he grew up to be Steven who shows up and starts up a relationship with her.  Starting up a relationship is a great way of getting your mind off of your friends who you have just seen get murdered by monsters a couple of nights ago.  Well don't worry, folks.  This isn't a romance movie.  The Neon Maniacs have her pegged to get murdered and they do what they can to kill her even if it means showing up to one of the most awkward and embarrassing battle of the bands in the history of cinema.

NEON MANIACS is a slasher film with strong concepts that hint at bigger ideas that should be explored in further sequels.  Sadly there are none.  The movie presents these creatures that are never fully explained.  A narrator at the beginning gives a vague voice over about the world becoming violent which brings the Neon Maniacs.  That is all we are given.  Each Maniac has his own unique look or occupation.  We have a samurai, a surgeon, an archer, a hangman, stabby guy, an ax wielding psycho, a biker, a soldier and one guy that looks like he has scimitars for hands!  There are more but I must move on.  To accompany them are these one eyed dwarf lizard people that collect and drag back the murdered victims of the Neon Maniacs with meat hooks leaving no bodies.  We are left intrigued and we want to know more.  What are these guys?  Where do they come from? What do they do with the bodies?  Did these guys invent cosplay?  The answers are left to our imaginations.  Some guy at the beginning of the film finds a cow skull with tarot like cards that each has a picture of a Neon Maniac.  Then the guy gets axed.  Does the movie go back and explain the significance of these cards?  Heck, no.

There is a good sized body count and some fun gory moments to keep the audience from realizing that there really isn't much story or plot to THE NEON MANIACS and the dialogue isn't as clever as it thinks it is.  Still the movie has a strong spooky atmosphere when the night comes and the fog rolls in and the Neon Maniacs emerge from underneath the Golden Gate Bridge.  I wouldn't want to be there when that happens.  Another interesting thing is that the Neon Maniacs have a strong aversion to water.  It makes them melt.  I think it is their only weakness.  Now I know that sounds dumb.  Somehow the movie makes it work.  For instance one of the main characters is a young girl who wants to make monster movies.  She really is into monsters.  She takes it upon herself to figure out how to kill the Maniacs.  She uses crosses and garlic but when she uses "holy" water the monster attacking her dies.  I thought that was a clever way of figuring out their weakness.  Who would have thought that water would be so effective?  Also I like that a girl was cast in the part of the monster enthusiast.  Most of the time a boy would be written for that role.  Way to be ahead of the times, NEON MANIACS.

I saw on THE FACEBOOK that there was a page for NEON MANIACS 2.  Hopefully someone is out there trying to make that happen.  I would love to see a sequel to answer the questions brought up in the first one and maybe give us even more questions to ignite our imaginations.  A good horror movie inspires the imaginations of it's audience.  That is exactly what the first one accomplishes.  THE NEON MANIACS, despite being cheesy and flawed, is a terrific film that should be seen by every fan of eighties horror movies.  I will guarantee after watching NEON MANIACS you will do what I do and keep a fully loaded Super Soaker in your car at all times just in case you have a run in with some cosplay weirdos that just may not be from your dimension.  You never know.

Jason

Steve Guttenberg and Paul Rudd had a son...

BRIDES OF DRACULA

Well let me be the first to warn everybody that there is no Dracula and there is sure as heck no brides of Dracula anywhere near this movie.  However, even though the title has nothing to do with the move, BRIDES OF DRACULA is a superb film and if not the best film produced by Hammer Studios.  The title just sounds cool, I guess.  If you use your imagination one can surmise that even though Dracula is dead any woman who is a vampire maybe called his bride simply because he started all this vampire stuff.  Despite the absence of Christopher Lee I have to say that BRIDES is one of my favorite films of all time.

I believe BRIDES OF DRACULA is a sequel to THE HORROR OF DRACULA (Or just plain DRACULA if you live in the U.K.) which has a young woman named Marianne going to an all girl school to become a teacher.  After she is invited by the mysterious Baroness Meinster to stay at her castle the young teacher discovers that mystery lady has a son, the Baraon Meinster, who is chained to his room.  Figuring the lady of the house is mad, Marianne helps the Baron escape.  Of course he is a dracula.  The newly freed vampire wastes no time going out and turning a couple of women in the village into vampires including a friend of the young naive teacher.  Finally Van Helsing shows up and figures there is a dracula on the loose and takes it upon himself to kill the unholy creature.

Director Terence Fischer has a way of bringing out so much bold color and detail to his sets and characters.  His horror films are quite beautiful to look at.  While the bulk of BRIDES is full of polite talk and proper manners one can't help but get drawn in by Cushing's straight forward but warm Van Helsing.  He is charming and courteous but when someone pops out them fangs he has no problem shoving a crucifix down their undead throat.  I remember when I was a kid and first watched BRIDES on TBS back in the day that I was disappointed in the new vampire played by David Peel simply because he was not Christopher Lee.  I wanted Christopher Lee.  Nowadays though I think David Peel's Baron Meinster is wonderfully horrifying with his maddening blood crazed eyes and uncharacteristic to his proper self vampire fangs.  His death at the end is one for the ages and my favorite part of the film.  The Baron is making his escape with what is left of his face after Van Helsing splashed him with holy water.  The Baron had made it out of the now burning windmill he had been using for his lair.  He is totally free with Van Helsing up at the top of the windmill.  If I was Van Helsing I would have been like "Crap...Oh, well I bet I get him in the sequel." and quit the chase.  But not Peter Cushing's Van Helsing.  He wasn't going to have this guy show up in some sequel.  Using his brain Helsing jumps on one of the wings of the windmill and drags it down with his weight converting the windmill into a giant cross which kills the Baron instantly.  Brilliant!  I love that so much.  We also get to see how Van Helsing handles being bit by a vampire too.  He burns the wound with a hot poker and splashes it with holy water like a real man.  That is the perfect cure for vampirism and naughty thoughts.  I probably would have just succumbed to being undead.  Man, it is a good thing I wasn't Van Helsing.  We all would have been screwed.

I think it is kind of funny in the HORROR OF DRACULA Van Helsing says vampires do not turn into bats.  At least if I remember correctly he does.  In BRIDES they turn into bats all the time.  So the good doctor isn't right all the time.  Big deal.  Maybe he meant realistic looking bats since these bats are the hanging from a string variety.  I always love a good "bats dangling on a string" horror movie.  They are good fun and cheesy.  I think that is another reason why BRIDES is so good though.  Even though the bat special effects are not so special it doesn't detract from the genuine sense of horror the movie provides.  I think a lot of that credit goes to Cushing and Peel playing their parts with straight faced determined gusto especially when the two face off against each other.  You can't help but get drawn into the two of them fighting over Marianne's soul.

THE BRIDES OF DRACULA is an excellent example of the greatness of Hammer Studios horror movies from back in the old days.  They made a whole bunch and I try my best to collect them all especially the ones with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.  They weren't all perfect and not without an exploitative nature but I think those of us who want to make scary movies with a real story to tell should watch these along with the Universal Monsters horror collection to culture ourselves on what truly makes horror movies work.  I fear that too many of the old movies have been forgotten and replaced with THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.  I think horror fanatics should go back further than the seventies to learn the basics of HORROR 101.  Maybe then we can get better story driven horror movies in the future even if they are low budget.


Jason