Saturday, April 16, 2011


Rutger Hauer out wrestles the Devil, punches through his chest cavity, pulls his heart out and while its still beating shoots it with a cannon he uses as a sidearm.  That's all I really need to say to sell this film, isn't it?  That moment in the finale is one of the most badass things ever put to film. I could end this review right now and you would be dying to see this movie.   Oh, did I mention that this review has spoilers in it?  Whoops.

Rutger Hauer plays Rutger Hauer a smoking coffee drinking high on sugar police detective that runs around dressed like he just entered the MATRIX.  He has gone a little crazy because his partner was killed in front of him and he doesn't know by who or how.  But he has a psychic connection to the killer and he is able to tell where he is going to strike next.(sometimes)  Hauer gets a new partner who seems like an up tight prick named Dick.  Dick is really smart but too green for Hauer to like.  Eventually though by way of a close encounter with the beast Dick becomes as crazy as Hauer and the two start working together to electrocute, flash bang and shotgun to pieces the beast that may be a mutant horoscope reading serial killer or the Devil.  Who freakin knows?

The creature in this film isn't fully explained.  At first Hauer thinks the creature is just a man.  When Hauer shows up at a night club the creature is able to kill a woman in a bathroom and then walk through a crowd of people out the door leaving a trail of blood behind and nobody sees anything.  THE DAMN THING IS EIGHT FEET TALL!  It is intelligent but when you see it it is some kind of alien or monster.  It plays mind games with Hauer taunting him to find him.  The creature leaves behind weird astrological symbols and from that crapola Dick figures that they might just be dealing with the Devil himself.  The movie doesn't come out and say what or who the creature is.  I say its the Devil because the movie insinuates it.

As a whole SPLIT SECOND fits in nicely between LETHAL WEAPON and PREDATOR.  It is an action movie with a strong element of horror and science fiction.  Even though Hauer doesn't run around and shoot a bunch of people or walk into a grocery store to buy food for his pet pigeons and has to kick the crap out of a bunch of thugs robbing the joint this movie still kicks a lot of ass.  There are some good lines, funny moments, nice future is about to go to crap atmosphere and BIG GUNS.  SPLIT SECOND is a different kind of action movie but it still has a ton of the cliches from other badass cop movies. He says the line "I work alone" and his apartment is a complete trash hole.  Hauer himself really keeps you glued to the t.v..  This is his best performance ever and he seems to be playing himself.  Or at least this is how I think he would act in real life.  He is way over the top on this one, folks.  Watch out is all I am saying. 

Also I find it strange that the song NIGHTS IN WHITE SATIN by the Moody Blues is played throughout the film.  That's an odd choice for a movie like this.  Maybe Rob Zombie was paying homage to SPLIT SECOND when he put the song at the beginning of HALLOWEEN 2.  Yea, I bet that is why he did it.  Its too bad that this movie is out of print.  I had to buy mine for eighty bucks and it is full screen.  Oh, I am sure if I check eBay or something that I could find one for five bucks.  That's the story of my life, peoples.  They only go down in price after I buy them.  Screw you, Internet!  Hopefully one day we will get this sucker on blu-ray.  Lets get SPLIT SECOND on Criterion.  That would be awesome.  Maybe that would happen if Rutger Hauer was a judge on AMERICAN IDOL.  I might have to hate him though if he did that.  Its not worth it.  I will just wait, thank you.


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